Long time no see! I guess June was just a little busy. These past few months I have been thinking a lot about how to continue living more simply, especially with the kids at home more this summer. I have come to this brilliant conclusion:
Living simply is a state of mind that requires a certain mindset, a certain kind of discipline and usually only a few key lifestyle changes.
One of the biggest lifestyle changes my family has made these last 6 months is to stop making shopping a recreational activity. (I am 10 minutes away from an outlet mall, so this is much harder than it sounds!!) When my kids were younger, and much less busy, we would think nothing of hopping in the van and drive 10 minutes to the outlet mall and just shop. Of course, back in those days, my kids were growing more and wearing out their clothes more, so a little more shopping was warranted. (Right?) And my kids really didn't mind shopping. But when I look back now at how full their closets and drawers and toyboxes and bookshelves were... it makes me shudder.
You see, I used to be one of those moms who thought that their kids needed Things and Stuff in order to be happy. Ok, so maybe I didn't think they needed everything, but I sure thought they needed a lot. ( I didn't think that I was that mom, but I was more than I realized). And the more Things and Stuff we had, the less money we had and the more we had to take care of. And back in those days (3-4+ years ago), it was me taking care of most of their stuff. (And back then is when I should have started them doing more... that did come evertually...)
When my son got older and into activities like his sister, life got Really Busy. And for some reason, shopping became our de-stressing recreation of choice. We'd shop at our "little" Walmart (buzz), at our "big" Walmart (Buzz), at the outlet mall, at our local rinky dink mall, at our "big mall" 45 minutes away, at Target 45 minutes away (BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ...)
We went out to eat a lot in those days, too. (Buzz...)
Even grocery shopping kind of gave me a buzz... have you ever been to Wegman's? What can I say other than... Buzz!!!!
And then I discovered the Magical World on Online Shopping. Shopping from home- what could be better? Gymboree, amazon.com, The Children's Place, and eBay, just to name a few. I didn't always buy a ton of stuff, but I did it frequently. And if I went a long time without shopping, I'd go on a little spreeeee.....
Now, after taking a long hard look at our finances and having goals in place for paying off our debt, I hardly shop at all. Not even grocery shopping. With our Menu Planning in place (another Godsend, and these days we plan our menu week by week), my husband sets out on Saturday morning while I tackle household chores. Helikes to make the rounds: he usually goes to 4 different stores, including Walmart and Aldis, to get the best bargains. (Fortunately they are all within a mile radius of each other). We buy what we need for the week and my husband will make an occasional stop on the way home for something we need before the next shopping trip (usually milk). We stock up a little bit, but really not too much. No more than 1 ahead on most things except for toilet paper.
My daughter, my son and I have each taken a turn to get some new clothes these past few months. We spent about $100 on each of us. What can I say, my son has grown, my daughter is a teenager and a girl has to have a few new things to wear once in a while. I'm sure my husband's day is coming. My daughter also needs new sneakers and we had to replace our shredder last week and we need to call the plumber Monday and get the muffler fixed on the 11th.... but I digresss. We live just like everybody else: we just just ry to do without consuming too much extra stuff.
Anyway, as I mentioned above, we use Menu Planning. In a nutshell, that means we just figure out the meals we want to eat for the week and add items to the grocery list we may need to make those meals happen. That's pretty much it. Usually one night a week we have Leftover Night. Leftovers are a Big Deal in our house- my husband takes leftovers to work for lunch and during the school year, my kids eat mostly homemade lunches, including leftovers, for lunch. I have to say that I have grown pretty fond of leftover night. I truly love it when we eat up what's in the fridge throughout the week. As the fridge empties, I feel a certain satisfaction that we chose food wisely, made tasty and healthy meals out o four food that stretched our budget throughout the week, often cutting down on cooking time. I would go so far as to say I get a little buzz when we use things up. (BUZZZZ!!!)
I feel the same way about our pantry. As I see food being eaten up and enjoyed by my family, it makes me feel good that I am nourishing them with good food and that the food is just not there to be eaten "someday". I know people whose pantries are just loaded with food and I don't know how they know when they need to buy something at the store. I'm guessing they don't and that they probably buy things over and over that they really don't need. And that food just sits there. That, my friend, is what I call Money on the Shelf.
You see, when we buy stuff and it sits on our shelf (or cupboard, or fridge, or drawer or closet, or wherever you keep your stuff), waiting around to be consumed (or worn or used in some way) and it then becomes Money on the Shelf. Money that you spent on Something and now that Something just Sits There. Because I don't know about you, but everything in my house costs money, and I would much rather take the money spent on extra food that I couldn't possibly eat in a month and put it towards reducing my debt (and if I didn't have debt, I would rather put that money in my davings). So if it can't be consumed or used in the near future, then to me it is a bit like Hoarding.
And anything we don't consume, like wasted food, often becomes Money in the Trash.
My mother, for example, was a big fan of filling up her fridge with tons and tons of leftovers. She was truly a product of her generation (raised during the depression, married during WWII) andbelieve in "use it up, wear it out" and all of that, but even after all 9 of her children left the house, she never could get the knack of cooking for a few people instead of the large family she raised. I can't tell you how many leftovers she must have thrown away during her lifetime. Money in the Trash. And one thing I hate more than Money on the Shelf, is Money on the Trash. In fact, you wouldn't believe the amount of food items that needed to be thrown away when she passed away because the items were well past their sell by date. She never did like to miss a good sale.
Not only do I seldom shop anymore, I have recently come to the realization that stores are kind of like the enemy to me now. The ads on TV are just so fake and so full of gimmicks to get you to come into their store to spend your hard earned money. Sale after sale after sale... bargain after bargain after bargain... it is endless. There will always be another sale. Repeat after me: there will always be another sale. Trust me.
Now don't get me wrong, I like nice things and I love a good sale as much as the next person. Who doesn't love to save money? But now I only shop for an item on sale when I truly need that item. Like when our 6 year old desktop computer decided it was going to start giving us big trouble a few months after my laptop met it's demise at the ripe old age of 4. I can't tell you how much my husband and I really did not want to part with our money to buy a newlaptop, and I was proud of us for feeling that way because we have come so far. But we found a great deal and purchased one last month. Sometimes, you have to bite the bullet- it's just knowing when to do it.
Our dishwasher, on the other hand, has been broken for a few months now. As much as I would love to replace it right now, I knew we needed the new computer more. This is actually a huge sacrifice on my part because I truly hate washing dishes and have had a dishwasher for the last 12 years. I'm hoping we can replace it at Christmas time when our computer is paid for. We shall see... I do know whenever we get it, I will certainly appreciate it more than I ever did before.
So now, instead of spending our free time crawling the malls, we spend our free time together as a family. Being more physically active, keeping a closer eye on our spending, only buying what we need and watching that debt decrease so we can start saving for our future.
May it always be so... BUZZ! :-)
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Yes, I Am Still Talking About Spring Cleaning
Spring cleaning may not be as crucial today as it was in the days of gas lamps and woodburning stoves, but we owe it to ourselves and our families to air out the house, get as much dirt and dust out of our house as much as possible and create an environment that is healthy and also visually pleasing.
(Notice I didn't say perfect!)
If you think you just don't have the time, please do your best to make the time. Mother's Day is coming. Instead of buying you expensive and unnecessary gifts (clutter), why not encourage your family to please give you the time and energy needed to get some cleaning/decluttering/painting/remodeling done? Make it a family weekend project. It could even be a yearly event. Maybe it's just me, but I'd rather have that then another unneeded item (even the handmade ones that I guilt myself into keeping).
If you are really that busy, then you need to be the one to set aside the time because quite frankly, no one else is going to do it.
Unless you really love cleaning and you are the type of person that absolutely has to do things a certain way (in other words, if you are a control freak... sorry!), I strongly suggest that you get your family on board with this task. Many hands really do make light work! If you think it isn't worth the effort to get them on board, I assure you that it is. There are safe and helpful jobs for kids of all ages.
Here's my most recent breakthrough:
Over Easter break, I was helping my 10 year old son clean his room. It was quite dusty in his room, and since I was moving furniture around to get to all the dust- he has allergies and asthma, so it really needs to be done fairly regularly, but it hadn't been done in a while- I decided to rearrange his furniture. He decided he would spend that time going through his desk. He really hates to part with things so I assumed he would take everything out, then neatly put all of the same things back into the desk (he is a bit of a hoarder, but a rather neat & organized one, so I tolerate it to a certain degree).
Before I knew it, all on his own, he had a stack of about a dozen Nintendo DS game cases stacked up for me to recycle. I literally gasped when I saw them and he responded with: "Well, I really don't need them anymore, so I'm getting rid of them". And so into the recycing they went. (Hooray!!) And let me tell you, this was a HUGE breakthrough for him.
This is what living by example does. Not nagging, not threatening, but also not ignoring. Yes, I had asked him about these before, but I knew he had to be ready to let go of them, just as he has seen me get rid of things I decided I no longer wanted on countless occasions.
And I believe that everytime he lets go of something he doesn't want or need, it makes it that much easier to let go of things in the future because he has those types of positive experiences to draw from.
After getting rid of the DS cases, he put the rest of his things in his desk and now he is much more able to manage those things.
This story illustrates how strongly I suggest that you declutter as you clean, especially when you Spring Clean (because I'm sure you'll find along the way that it's clutter more than anything else that slows down the cleaning process). And once you make the decision to let go of something, get it out of the house ASAP. (I know I say that all the time, but I need to hear it as much as everyone else does!)
Decluttering and cleaning go hand in hand not only because it makes it easier to clean that space today, but it also helps you maintain that space in the simplest way possible for the future.
I also strongly encourage you to put off doing any household repairs or remodeling projects until after you finish cleaning. I know that sounds counter-intuitive to some of you, especially the do-it-your-selfers, but fixing something isn't the same as decluttering an area and cleaning something.
Repairs, repainting, remodeling, etc. are all great things, but they create new messes and stresses and therefore distract us from the purpose of just getting the whole house clean and getting it done. (Guilty as charged!)
Keep a list of repairs as you clean, prioritize the repairs and then tackle them one room at a time. And then be sure to tidy up the messes you create when doing the repairs before moving on to the next room. Oh, and be sure to finish the repairing and remodeling in one room before moving onto another room, ok?
One project at at time.
One room at a time.
You may think you're getting more done by working on more than one project at a time, but I assure you that is usually not the case. Unless a project is unforseeably stalled for a lengthy period of time (such as the stove you ordered is backordered for a month), please do not move onto another room until the first room is finished.
Currently I have patches of peeled wallpaper on my kitchen walls that, so far, we have not been able to remove. These walls have looked like this for almost a year now. In fact, it will be a year this July. That's when we finished the rest of our housepainting while our kids were at church camp for the week and we discovered that we couldn't get the wallpaper off. This July, while both the kids are at church camp, we'll try again. But I can function with patches of peeled wallpaper on my walls (I'm not happy about it, but I can still cook meals and I can still clean the room).
What I'm talking about is tearing rooms apart, getting halfway finished, and either because of poor planning or boredom or a series of unfortunate events, the room stays in it's deconstructed state for far too long and then the unthinkable happens... people turn around and do the same thing to another room! Please, I beg you- don't do it!!
One project at a time. One room at a time. One mess at a time. One day at a time. Make these your mantra. And whoever is the most focused in the family, put that person in charge of managing the project.
My husband is, by far, the more focused of the two of us. I have my good qualities, but staying focused and staying on task are not among them. I blame it a little bit on the multi-tasking that often comes with motherhood. (And perhaps a touch of ADD... I can't even sit through a 30 minute TV show!) If the paint was taking too long to dry in one room, I would suggest we start tearing apart the next room we were going to paint so we could start painting in there while the paint was drying. We live in a fairly small house, so for us, that really wasn't very feasible- there is only so much room in one small house for destruction while you are trying to live in it, especially with children. Painting is hard work and there's nothing wrong with taking a water break or lunch break or do errands or go for a walk while the paint is drying. You see, I just wanted to work super hard and super fast to get it done. Well, we had all week to paint two bedrooms. It was better (for us, anyway) to take short breaks here and there instead of killing ourselves trying to get it done quickly, probably because it kept us from getting dehydrated, hungry, overtired and cranky.
Give yourself plenty of time to work on projects becuase they always ... ALWAYS... take longer than you think they will.
Yes, I have learned a lot about focusing on one task at a time from my darling husband. (And he, in turn, has learned that sometimes multi-tasking is best, although I am slowing learning that usually his way is better, but don't tell him I said that!)
I think that's why my husband & I make such a great team. So please- work together and play off of each other's strengths- it won't eliminate the stress of cleaning, painting, remodeling, etc., but it will certainly lessen it. You might even have, dare I say it, a good time?
So the bottom line is this: before you tackle any household task, whether you are cleaning out a drawer, patching a wall or remodeling a whole room, if it's been a while since that area has had a good cleaning and decluttering, please do that first. Even if it isn't spring.
Besides, it's usually much harder to clutter up a clean space than it is a dirty one, which makes it a natural time to declutter.
You will thank me!!
(Notice I didn't say perfect!)
If you think you just don't have the time, please do your best to make the time. Mother's Day is coming. Instead of buying you expensive and unnecessary gifts (clutter), why not encourage your family to please give you the time and energy needed to get some cleaning/decluttering/painting/remodeling done? Make it a family weekend project. It could even be a yearly event. Maybe it's just me, but I'd rather have that then another unneeded item (even the handmade ones that I guilt myself into keeping).
If you are really that busy, then you need to be the one to set aside the time because quite frankly, no one else is going to do it.
Unless you really love cleaning and you are the type of person that absolutely has to do things a certain way (in other words, if you are a control freak... sorry!), I strongly suggest that you get your family on board with this task. Many hands really do make light work! If you think it isn't worth the effort to get them on board, I assure you that it is. There are safe and helpful jobs for kids of all ages.
Here's my most recent breakthrough:
Over Easter break, I was helping my 10 year old son clean his room. It was quite dusty in his room, and since I was moving furniture around to get to all the dust- he has allergies and asthma, so it really needs to be done fairly regularly, but it hadn't been done in a while- I decided to rearrange his furniture. He decided he would spend that time going through his desk. He really hates to part with things so I assumed he would take everything out, then neatly put all of the same things back into the desk (he is a bit of a hoarder, but a rather neat & organized one, so I tolerate it to a certain degree).
Before I knew it, all on his own, he had a stack of about a dozen Nintendo DS game cases stacked up for me to recycle. I literally gasped when I saw them and he responded with: "Well, I really don't need them anymore, so I'm getting rid of them". And so into the recycing they went. (Hooray!!) And let me tell you, this was a HUGE breakthrough for him.
This is what living by example does. Not nagging, not threatening, but also not ignoring. Yes, I had asked him about these before, but I knew he had to be ready to let go of them, just as he has seen me get rid of things I decided I no longer wanted on countless occasions.
And I believe that everytime he lets go of something he doesn't want or need, it makes it that much easier to let go of things in the future because he has those types of positive experiences to draw from.
After getting rid of the DS cases, he put the rest of his things in his desk and now he is much more able to manage those things.
This story illustrates how strongly I suggest that you declutter as you clean, especially when you Spring Clean (because I'm sure you'll find along the way that it's clutter more than anything else that slows down the cleaning process). And once you make the decision to let go of something, get it out of the house ASAP. (I know I say that all the time, but I need to hear it as much as everyone else does!)
Decluttering and cleaning go hand in hand not only because it makes it easier to clean that space today, but it also helps you maintain that space in the simplest way possible for the future.
I also strongly encourage you to put off doing any household repairs or remodeling projects until after you finish cleaning. I know that sounds counter-intuitive to some of you, especially the do-it-your-selfers, but fixing something isn't the same as decluttering an area and cleaning something.
Repairs, repainting, remodeling, etc. are all great things, but they create new messes and stresses and therefore distract us from the purpose of just getting the whole house clean and getting it done. (Guilty as charged!)
Keep a list of repairs as you clean, prioritize the repairs and then tackle them one room at a time. And then be sure to tidy up the messes you create when doing the repairs before moving on to the next room. Oh, and be sure to finish the repairing and remodeling in one room before moving onto another room, ok?
One project at at time.
One room at a time.
You may think you're getting more done by working on more than one project at a time, but I assure you that is usually not the case. Unless a project is unforseeably stalled for a lengthy period of time (such as the stove you ordered is backordered for a month), please do not move onto another room until the first room is finished.
Currently I have patches of peeled wallpaper on my kitchen walls that, so far, we have not been able to remove. These walls have looked like this for almost a year now. In fact, it will be a year this July. That's when we finished the rest of our housepainting while our kids were at church camp for the week and we discovered that we couldn't get the wallpaper off. This July, while both the kids are at church camp, we'll try again. But I can function with patches of peeled wallpaper on my walls (I'm not happy about it, but I can still cook meals and I can still clean the room).
What I'm talking about is tearing rooms apart, getting halfway finished, and either because of poor planning or boredom or a series of unfortunate events, the room stays in it's deconstructed state for far too long and then the unthinkable happens... people turn around and do the same thing to another room! Please, I beg you- don't do it!!
One project at a time. One room at a time. One mess at a time. One day at a time. Make these your mantra. And whoever is the most focused in the family, put that person in charge of managing the project.
My husband is, by far, the more focused of the two of us. I have my good qualities, but staying focused and staying on task are not among them. I blame it a little bit on the multi-tasking that often comes with motherhood. (And perhaps a touch of ADD... I can't even sit through a 30 minute TV show!) If the paint was taking too long to dry in one room, I would suggest we start tearing apart the next room we were going to paint so we could start painting in there while the paint was drying. We live in a fairly small house, so for us, that really wasn't very feasible- there is only so much room in one small house for destruction while you are trying to live in it, especially with children. Painting is hard work and there's nothing wrong with taking a water break or lunch break or do errands or go for a walk while the paint is drying. You see, I just wanted to work super hard and super fast to get it done. Well, we had all week to paint two bedrooms. It was better (for us, anyway) to take short breaks here and there instead of killing ourselves trying to get it done quickly, probably because it kept us from getting dehydrated, hungry, overtired and cranky.
Give yourself plenty of time to work on projects becuase they always ... ALWAYS... take longer than you think they will.
Yes, I have learned a lot about focusing on one task at a time from my darling husband. (And he, in turn, has learned that sometimes multi-tasking is best, although I am slowing learning that usually his way is better, but don't tell him I said that!)
I think that's why my husband & I make such a great team. So please- work together and play off of each other's strengths- it won't eliminate the stress of cleaning, painting, remodeling, etc., but it will certainly lessen it. You might even have, dare I say it, a good time?
So the bottom line is this: before you tackle any household task, whether you are cleaning out a drawer, patching a wall or remodeling a whole room, if it's been a while since that area has had a good cleaning and decluttering, please do that first. Even if it isn't spring.
Besides, it's usually much harder to clutter up a clean space than it is a dirty one, which makes it a natural time to declutter.
You will thank me!!
Monday, March 26, 2012
30 for 30: Part 2
Last week I blogged about decluttering 30 bags of stuff in 30 days or 30 things in 30 days or decluttering for 30 minutes a day for 30 days. I still think it's a great idea and I still pal on decluttering 30 things in 30 days. But I've been thinking ever since then that if decluttering isn't your thing, there are other things you can do for 30 minutes a day, or in 30 days.
Over the weekend, I compiled a list of 30 things you can do in 30 minutes or 30 days that I feel could have a positive impact on the quality of your life. I hope you will read over this list and see if any of the ideas speak to you. If so, pick one or two. Pick several if they are not going to overwhelm you. These ideas are meant to enhance your life, so please do not attempt to do all of these in one month. Do what makes sense for you this month and save other ideas that interest you for the future.
30 Things You Can Do in 30 Minutes or in 30 Days
1. Exercise . Health experts say that just eating healthy isn't enough to lose weight or keep weight off, especially as you get older. We need to move! And if weight isn't an issue for you, consider strength training. Or add walking for 30 minutes to your daily routine. If smaller increments fits into your schedule, walk for 15 minutes in the morning and 15 minutes in the evening. Whatever exercise you choose, if you're out of shape, start slowly and stretch your muscles first. Walk, swim, dance, play tennis... just move!
2. Go to bed. Getting enough sleep is a vital part of good health and most people do not get enough sleep. I suggest going to bed 30 minutes earlier than you currently do each night. And if you start moving more (see #1), chances are good that you will start sleeping better. And get yourself into a good evening routine and step away from the TV and computer about an hour before bedtime.
3. Get up. Since you are going to bed 30 minutes earlier, try getting up 30 minutes earlier. "Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise". I think Ben Franklin was right on the money with this one. I am not a morning person, but I do know that I am much more productive when I get up earlier. I feel a weight lifted when I get chores done in the morning instead of having them weighing over my head all day. With any luck, it will also help you get out the door in the morning without feeling rushed. And if you don't need the extra time, simply enjoy the solitude.
4. Reduce. How many of us spend countless minutes or even hours each day in front of their computer, TV, tablet, smart phone, etc. Guilty. Be more mindful about how much time you spend and waste there throughout the day. Try to cut 30 minutes of this time out of your schedule. Maybe even limit yourself to just 30 minutes per day. (gasp!)
5. Add. Remember those 30 minutes you just took away from your daily TV/computer time? (See #4). Take those 30 minutes and convert them into 30 minutes of quality time with someone you love. It can be a different activity everyday if you want. Call your mom. Play a board game with your child. Catch up with an old friend. Chat with your spouse. My husband calls me on his lunch hour almost every day and we talk anywhere from a few minutes to 30 minutes. Some days it's the most time we have for each other, so we really value this time.
6. Read. Do you have a passion for reading, but can't seem to find the time? Or have you always wanted to read more but didn't know where to start? Carve 30 minutes out of your day and make reading your new priority. When you can, read in front of your children- it sets such a great example. Read to your children and when they are old enough, have them read to you.
7. Meditate. Or pray. Or read the Bible. Or do yoga. Do some sort of quiet and centered activity that helps ground you and gives you peace for 30 minutes each day.
8. Go outdoors. Walk, sit, run. Garden. Eat your lunch. Bird watch or people watch. Slather on a little sunscreen, slap on a hat and just enjoy the great outdoors. Make this one a minimum of 30 minutes each day!
9. Count Feeling stressed by your kids, spouse, neighbors, in-laws, co-workers or boss? Develop the habit of counting to 30 and letting go of the stress while you do. Ask yourself if the issue is worth the anger or stress you are feeling. Put things into perspective. Try looking at the issue in a new way. Will this matter tomorrow? Practice patience. Develop tolerance. Count your blessings.
10. Practice doing random acts of kindness As you go about your day, mindfully try to be more helpful, more thoughtful and more caring at least once a day for 30 days. And it doesn't have to be a big thing. Sometimes the smallest acts of kindness yield the biggest results. And be anonymous when you can- it keeps you humble and reminds you that the good deed was about the other person, not you.
11. Revisit a hobby or passion Do you have a hobby you have neglected or are you passionate about something and you want to get back to it? Just spend 30 minutes a day with that hobby or passion. Draw, paint, write, sing, dance, build, play, create, sew, craft... the possibilities are almost endless. Think of the fun you can have, the masterpieces you might create using only 30 minutes each day. If your particular hobby requires more than 30 minutes per day, then set aside the necessary blocks of time, such as an hour or 2 a few days or nights a week.
12. Try something new! Perhaps there is something on your "bucket list" that you have always wanted to try. Have you always wanted to learn how to draw, paint, write, sing, dance, build, play, create, sew, cook, craft... ? Well, there's no time like the present. Set aside the 30 minutes a day, or 2-3 hours per week, and give it a try. Experts tell us more and more about the health benefits for the brain when we keep learning new things as we get older. You never know, you might discover some hidden talent. Think of Grandma Moses.
13. Take on a household project. Have you always wanted to paint your dining room? Remodel your bathroom? Build a bookcase? If you have the skills to do these things, or the ability and desire to learn these skills, try setting aside 30 minutes a day or a few hours each week. Household projects take prep work and clean up time, but doing these projects yourself can be so rewarding. And can be a huge money saver when you do it yourself. Think of how great you will feel when you don't have the thought of these projects weighing you down anymore.
14. Save. Save 30 cents a day, 30 dollars a month. $30 a week? Whatever you can do financially. Look at your household budget and see where you can cat back a little or a lot. 30 cents a day equals $2.10 cents a week. 30 cents over 30 days equals $9.00. 30 cents over 365 days equals $109.50. Or save $1 a day for 30 days. 30 dollars a month equals $360! 30 dollars a week equals a whopping $1,560!!! Save for something special, give to your church or a favorite charity or pay off some debt. Even a little bit everyday adds up over time. Become a saver.
15. Trade. There's nothing like an old-fashioned barter to save you time and money. Perhaps you and a friend or a group of friends can trade off 30 minutes of babysitting for each other. Or a 30 minute service for another 30 minute service. One friend trims or colors your hair, you do her nails. Or try doing a swap, such as books, movies, toys, clothes. Everyone bring 30 things, do a swap and then everyone leaves with 30 new things.
16. Develop a good habit. They say it takes about 30 days of doing something before it becomes a habit. After our last dental appointment, flossing is the new habit being developed in our house. Find something you want to get better at and put it into practice every day for 30 days.
17. Break a bad habit. This can be anything from biting your nails to gossiping to smoking to eating junk food. Most of us have some habit they wished they didn't. Take this time to really examine this habit and what it will take to break this habit once and for all. 30 days could really change your health and your life.
16. Put away, everyday. If putting things away right away isn't your thing, try it for 30 days instead of letting things sit around or pile up. File or recycle those stray papers. Put that dirty glass right into the dishwasher. Toss those dirty socks straight into the hamper. Try using the OHIO Method- Only Handle It Once. Once you get the hang of it, teach it to your family and lead by example.
17. Donate. I'm betting that everyone has 30 of something they can part with and donate. Go through your pantry, your books, your clothes, your toys. I bet some of you can find 30 things in many categories. These are things that you no longer want or need that can be useful to someone else. Just the act of donating to a worthy cause will make you feel great, but trust me, lightening your load will make you feel better, too.
18. Pare Down. Many people are collectors, which is fine. But be careful that your collection doesn't lead to hoarding. Keep that collection in check. Find 30 pieces of your collection that you can purge, or pare it down to 30 items. Whichever makes the most sense. For example, if you have hundreds of books that you will probably never read again, pare it down to your favorite 30. Or if you have a CD collection that is growing too large, give rid of 30 CDs you never listen to anymore. And to keep these collections contained, use the One In, One Out rule. Everytime you buy a new book or CD (or whatever you collect), get rid of one. Always keep what is truly important to you and let go of the rest. It will make your collection that much more special.
19. Organize. Spend 30 minutes each day organizing a shelf, a drawer, a bin, a closet. Purge as necessary. You can also do 15 minutes each morning and 15 minutes each evening. I actually do 10/10/10 throughout the day. Once in the morning after the kids leave for school, once in the afternoon after the kids get home/before I make dinner, and then again before I go up to bed each night. I call them my 10 Minute Tidies- it's a combo of decluttering, cleaning and organizing- and it really helps me stay on top of stuff.
20. Finish. Do you have projects that you have started- but never finished? Any unfinished projects lying around are clutter and keep you from starting new ones. Go through your crafts or other projects and pick out the ones you want to finish. For example, finish that scrapbook you started. Or, if scrapbooking is no longer your thing, donate your crafting supplies to someone who does enjoy it. Keep going through your projects until they are either finished, donated or recycled.
21. Teach. Do you have a particular skill? Perhaps someone in your house or a friend would like to learn this skill. Offer to teach your kids how to cook. Offer to teach a friend how to knit or paint. Whatever it is you are good at, share your gift with someone else. Maybe it will lead to a career change?
22. Learn. Is there something you have always wanted to learn about- or learn more about? You can find information on almost anything online. Check out books from your local library. Learn as much as you can about whatever interests you. You never know where that knowledge will take you. You don't want to obsess, so try to limit your time spent on this to 30 minutes a day or a few hours each week. Pick a new subject when you've learned all you want to know.
23. Discuss. There are all kinds of clubs and groups out there that you can join and discuss things that you enjoy: book clubs, chess clubs, knitting clubs, bible studies, garden clubs. If you can't find the kind of club or discussion group you are looking for, form one and invite people who have the same interest to join you. There are probably discussion groups online you can join, too. Limit your time to 30 minutes a day online and 30 minutes to a few hours per week.
24. Volunteer . There are so may worthy charities and organizations out there that are always looking for volunteers to help them out. If you have a family and/or work outside of the home, your time is very limited. I again urge you to start out by limiting your volunteering to no more than 30 minutes per day or the equivalent of a few hours per week. If you currently volunteer somewhere that doesn't fulfill you the same way it did when you first started, consider volunteering somewhere else where you can be more productive. If you are single or do not work, you may have time for more volunteer work. Do a small variety of charity work that interests you, keeps you grounded, helps you feel valued, and don't let yourself get burned out.
25. Choose. Choose what you do and how you spend your free time each day. And choose who you spend your time with. Often we do things out of sheer habit. For the next 30 days, be more mindful of your choices. Do you really want to watch this same old TV show, or do you want to read? Do you really want to eat something or are you really just thirsty? Do you really want to keep living like this, or do you want to make some changes. Listen to what your thoughts are telling you and choose wisely.
26. Try . And speaking of doing things out of sheer habit, when is the last time you tried something different? Try eating something new and different. Or listened to a different kind of music. Or tried reading a different genre of books. Try a new product, brand or gadget. Try a new hairstyle. Try a new routine. Make a list of different things you want to try and see if you can come up with 30. I think this one sounds harder than it really is.
27. Fix. If you are handy, when is the last time you fixed or made minor repairs to things around the house? Make a list this month and once and for all, spend 30 days tackling that to-do list. Change that burned out light bulb. Tighten those loose screws. Fix that drippy faucet. And if you can't fix those things, ask someone who can and have them show you how to do them for next time.
28. Delete. If it's been a while since you've deleted any emails form your inbox, this one's for you. If nothing else, delete 30 emails from your inbox each day. If you receive 30 emails or more each day, you need to take this one a step further. Choose which emails you no longer wish to receive, then go into the email and unscribe yourself from their email list. Do this now! Get yourself into the habit of reading and then deleting your email everyday. If email isn't an issue for you, spend this month deleting and organizing items you have bookmarked. Interests change so anything that doesn't speak to who you are now, simply delete it. And organize the rest in a way that makes it so you can access all of your favorite websites with just one click.
29. Blog or Write. If you enjoy writing on any given subject, then I encourage you to start a blog. I'm still trying to figure things out and I don't share what I blog about with very many people, but I do enjoy the process. If you're more private, consider journaling. Even a line a day is a great start.
30. Breathe. Let's face it: life is hectic. Life can often be very stressful. Most of us are far too busy than we should be. I hope that these ideas help you add things to your life that will help give it more meaning and purpose, as that is their intention, not just steal more precious time from your busy lives. Often we don't even have time to breathe between activities. I encourage you to take time every day to just breathe. Relax. Laugh. Have fun. Smile. And say no once in a while.
If there are things in your life that aren't fun and do not make you laugh out loud or smile and do not contribute to your well-being, or to the well-being of your family, then please consider removing those activities from your life. Spend more time together as a family. Running from one activity to another is not quality family time. Let something go. It's great to have a family that is active and well-rounded, but you have to know when enough is enough. Your husband will thank you, your children will thank you, and your children's teachers will thank you! But mostly, I think you will thank yourself.
30 for 30. How will you spend it?
Over the weekend, I compiled a list of 30 things you can do in 30 minutes or 30 days that I feel could have a positive impact on the quality of your life. I hope you will read over this list and see if any of the ideas speak to you. If so, pick one or two. Pick several if they are not going to overwhelm you. These ideas are meant to enhance your life, so please do not attempt to do all of these in one month. Do what makes sense for you this month and save other ideas that interest you for the future.
30 Things You Can Do in 30 Minutes or in 30 Days
1. Exercise . Health experts say that just eating healthy isn't enough to lose weight or keep weight off, especially as you get older. We need to move! And if weight isn't an issue for you, consider strength training. Or add walking for 30 minutes to your daily routine. If smaller increments fits into your schedule, walk for 15 minutes in the morning and 15 minutes in the evening. Whatever exercise you choose, if you're out of shape, start slowly and stretch your muscles first. Walk, swim, dance, play tennis... just move!
2. Go to bed. Getting enough sleep is a vital part of good health and most people do not get enough sleep. I suggest going to bed 30 minutes earlier than you currently do each night. And if you start moving more (see #1), chances are good that you will start sleeping better. And get yourself into a good evening routine and step away from the TV and computer about an hour before bedtime.
3. Get up. Since you are going to bed 30 minutes earlier, try getting up 30 minutes earlier. "Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise". I think Ben Franklin was right on the money with this one. I am not a morning person, but I do know that I am much more productive when I get up earlier. I feel a weight lifted when I get chores done in the morning instead of having them weighing over my head all day. With any luck, it will also help you get out the door in the morning without feeling rushed. And if you don't need the extra time, simply enjoy the solitude.
4. Reduce. How many of us spend countless minutes or even hours each day in front of their computer, TV, tablet, smart phone, etc. Guilty. Be more mindful about how much time you spend and waste there throughout the day. Try to cut 30 minutes of this time out of your schedule. Maybe even limit yourself to just 30 minutes per day. (gasp!)
5. Add. Remember those 30 minutes you just took away from your daily TV/computer time? (See #4). Take those 30 minutes and convert them into 30 minutes of quality time with someone you love. It can be a different activity everyday if you want. Call your mom. Play a board game with your child. Catch up with an old friend. Chat with your spouse. My husband calls me on his lunch hour almost every day and we talk anywhere from a few minutes to 30 minutes. Some days it's the most time we have for each other, so we really value this time.
6. Read. Do you have a passion for reading, but can't seem to find the time? Or have you always wanted to read more but didn't know where to start? Carve 30 minutes out of your day and make reading your new priority. When you can, read in front of your children- it sets such a great example. Read to your children and when they are old enough, have them read to you.
7. Meditate. Or pray. Or read the Bible. Or do yoga. Do some sort of quiet and centered activity that helps ground you and gives you peace for 30 minutes each day.
8. Go outdoors. Walk, sit, run. Garden. Eat your lunch. Bird watch or people watch. Slather on a little sunscreen, slap on a hat and just enjoy the great outdoors. Make this one a minimum of 30 minutes each day!
9. Count Feeling stressed by your kids, spouse, neighbors, in-laws, co-workers or boss? Develop the habit of counting to 30 and letting go of the stress while you do. Ask yourself if the issue is worth the anger or stress you are feeling. Put things into perspective. Try looking at the issue in a new way. Will this matter tomorrow? Practice patience. Develop tolerance. Count your blessings.
10. Practice doing random acts of kindness As you go about your day, mindfully try to be more helpful, more thoughtful and more caring at least once a day for 30 days. And it doesn't have to be a big thing. Sometimes the smallest acts of kindness yield the biggest results. And be anonymous when you can- it keeps you humble and reminds you that the good deed was about the other person, not you.
11. Revisit a hobby or passion Do you have a hobby you have neglected or are you passionate about something and you want to get back to it? Just spend 30 minutes a day with that hobby or passion. Draw, paint, write, sing, dance, build, play, create, sew, craft... the possibilities are almost endless. Think of the fun you can have, the masterpieces you might create using only 30 minutes each day. If your particular hobby requires more than 30 minutes per day, then set aside the necessary blocks of time, such as an hour or 2 a few days or nights a week.
12. Try something new! Perhaps there is something on your "bucket list" that you have always wanted to try. Have you always wanted to learn how to draw, paint, write, sing, dance, build, play, create, sew, cook, craft... ? Well, there's no time like the present. Set aside the 30 minutes a day, or 2-3 hours per week, and give it a try. Experts tell us more and more about the health benefits for the brain when we keep learning new things as we get older. You never know, you might discover some hidden talent. Think of Grandma Moses.
13. Take on a household project. Have you always wanted to paint your dining room? Remodel your bathroom? Build a bookcase? If you have the skills to do these things, or the ability and desire to learn these skills, try setting aside 30 minutes a day or a few hours each week. Household projects take prep work and clean up time, but doing these projects yourself can be so rewarding. And can be a huge money saver when you do it yourself. Think of how great you will feel when you don't have the thought of these projects weighing you down anymore.
14. Save. Save 30 cents a day, 30 dollars a month. $30 a week? Whatever you can do financially. Look at your household budget and see where you can cat back a little or a lot. 30 cents a day equals $2.10 cents a week. 30 cents over 30 days equals $9.00. 30 cents over 365 days equals $109.50. Or save $1 a day for 30 days. 30 dollars a month equals $360! 30 dollars a week equals a whopping $1,560!!! Save for something special, give to your church or a favorite charity or pay off some debt. Even a little bit everyday adds up over time. Become a saver.
15. Trade. There's nothing like an old-fashioned barter to save you time and money. Perhaps you and a friend or a group of friends can trade off 30 minutes of babysitting for each other. Or a 30 minute service for another 30 minute service. One friend trims or colors your hair, you do her nails. Or try doing a swap, such as books, movies, toys, clothes. Everyone bring 30 things, do a swap and then everyone leaves with 30 new things.
16. Develop a good habit. They say it takes about 30 days of doing something before it becomes a habit. After our last dental appointment, flossing is the new habit being developed in our house. Find something you want to get better at and put it into practice every day for 30 days.
17. Break a bad habit. This can be anything from biting your nails to gossiping to smoking to eating junk food. Most of us have some habit they wished they didn't. Take this time to really examine this habit and what it will take to break this habit once and for all. 30 days could really change your health and your life.
16. Put away, everyday. If putting things away right away isn't your thing, try it for 30 days instead of letting things sit around or pile up. File or recycle those stray papers. Put that dirty glass right into the dishwasher. Toss those dirty socks straight into the hamper. Try using the OHIO Method- Only Handle It Once. Once you get the hang of it, teach it to your family and lead by example.
17. Donate. I'm betting that everyone has 30 of something they can part with and donate. Go through your pantry, your books, your clothes, your toys. I bet some of you can find 30 things in many categories. These are things that you no longer want or need that can be useful to someone else. Just the act of donating to a worthy cause will make you feel great, but trust me, lightening your load will make you feel better, too.
18. Pare Down. Many people are collectors, which is fine. But be careful that your collection doesn't lead to hoarding. Keep that collection in check. Find 30 pieces of your collection that you can purge, or pare it down to 30 items. Whichever makes the most sense. For example, if you have hundreds of books that you will probably never read again, pare it down to your favorite 30. Or if you have a CD collection that is growing too large, give rid of 30 CDs you never listen to anymore. And to keep these collections contained, use the One In, One Out rule. Everytime you buy a new book or CD (or whatever you collect), get rid of one. Always keep what is truly important to you and let go of the rest. It will make your collection that much more special.
19. Organize. Spend 30 minutes each day organizing a shelf, a drawer, a bin, a closet. Purge as necessary. You can also do 15 minutes each morning and 15 minutes each evening. I actually do 10/10/10 throughout the day. Once in the morning after the kids leave for school, once in the afternoon after the kids get home/before I make dinner, and then again before I go up to bed each night. I call them my 10 Minute Tidies- it's a combo of decluttering, cleaning and organizing- and it really helps me stay on top of stuff.
20. Finish. Do you have projects that you have started- but never finished? Any unfinished projects lying around are clutter and keep you from starting new ones. Go through your crafts or other projects and pick out the ones you want to finish. For example, finish that scrapbook you started. Or, if scrapbooking is no longer your thing, donate your crafting supplies to someone who does enjoy it. Keep going through your projects until they are either finished, donated or recycled.
21. Teach. Do you have a particular skill? Perhaps someone in your house or a friend would like to learn this skill. Offer to teach your kids how to cook. Offer to teach a friend how to knit or paint. Whatever it is you are good at, share your gift with someone else. Maybe it will lead to a career change?
22. Learn. Is there something you have always wanted to learn about- or learn more about? You can find information on almost anything online. Check out books from your local library. Learn as much as you can about whatever interests you. You never know where that knowledge will take you. You don't want to obsess, so try to limit your time spent on this to 30 minutes a day or a few hours each week. Pick a new subject when you've learned all you want to know.
23. Discuss. There are all kinds of clubs and groups out there that you can join and discuss things that you enjoy: book clubs, chess clubs, knitting clubs, bible studies, garden clubs. If you can't find the kind of club or discussion group you are looking for, form one and invite people who have the same interest to join you. There are probably discussion groups online you can join, too. Limit your time to 30 minutes a day online and 30 minutes to a few hours per week.
24. Volunteer . There are so may worthy charities and organizations out there that are always looking for volunteers to help them out. If you have a family and/or work outside of the home, your time is very limited. I again urge you to start out by limiting your volunteering to no more than 30 minutes per day or the equivalent of a few hours per week. If you currently volunteer somewhere that doesn't fulfill you the same way it did when you first started, consider volunteering somewhere else where you can be more productive. If you are single or do not work, you may have time for more volunteer work. Do a small variety of charity work that interests you, keeps you grounded, helps you feel valued, and don't let yourself get burned out.
25. Choose. Choose what you do and how you spend your free time each day. And choose who you spend your time with. Often we do things out of sheer habit. For the next 30 days, be more mindful of your choices. Do you really want to watch this same old TV show, or do you want to read? Do you really want to eat something or are you really just thirsty? Do you really want to keep living like this, or do you want to make some changes. Listen to what your thoughts are telling you and choose wisely.
26. Try . And speaking of doing things out of sheer habit, when is the last time you tried something different? Try eating something new and different. Or listened to a different kind of music. Or tried reading a different genre of books. Try a new product, brand or gadget. Try a new hairstyle. Try a new routine. Make a list of different things you want to try and see if you can come up with 30. I think this one sounds harder than it really is.
27. Fix. If you are handy, when is the last time you fixed or made minor repairs to things around the house? Make a list this month and once and for all, spend 30 days tackling that to-do list. Change that burned out light bulb. Tighten those loose screws. Fix that drippy faucet. And if you can't fix those things, ask someone who can and have them show you how to do them for next time.
28. Delete. If it's been a while since you've deleted any emails form your inbox, this one's for you. If nothing else, delete 30 emails from your inbox each day. If you receive 30 emails or more each day, you need to take this one a step further. Choose which emails you no longer wish to receive, then go into the email and unscribe yourself from their email list. Do this now! Get yourself into the habit of reading and then deleting your email everyday. If email isn't an issue for you, spend this month deleting and organizing items you have bookmarked. Interests change so anything that doesn't speak to who you are now, simply delete it. And organize the rest in a way that makes it so you can access all of your favorite websites with just one click.
29. Blog or Write. If you enjoy writing on any given subject, then I encourage you to start a blog. I'm still trying to figure things out and I don't share what I blog about with very many people, but I do enjoy the process. If you're more private, consider journaling. Even a line a day is a great start.
30. Breathe. Let's face it: life is hectic. Life can often be very stressful. Most of us are far too busy than we should be. I hope that these ideas help you add things to your life that will help give it more meaning and purpose, as that is their intention, not just steal more precious time from your busy lives. Often we don't even have time to breathe between activities. I encourage you to take time every day to just breathe. Relax. Laugh. Have fun. Smile. And say no once in a while.
If there are things in your life that aren't fun and do not make you laugh out loud or smile and do not contribute to your well-being, or to the well-being of your family, then please consider removing those activities from your life. Spend more time together as a family. Running from one activity to another is not quality family time. Let something go. It's great to have a family that is active and well-rounded, but you have to know when enough is enough. Your husband will thank you, your children will thank you, and your children's teachers will thank you! But mostly, I think you will thank yourself.
30 for 30. How will you spend it?
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
30 Bags in 30 Days (or 30 Things in 30 Days): A Decluttering Project
While visiting Pinterest online today, I came across an idea that someone had posted called 40 Bags in 40 Days. (I'm supposed to credit ideas from Pinterest, and I think her name was Lucy Lu). It sounded intruiging so I clicked on it.
In a nutshell, 40 Bags in 40 Days is this:
During the 40 days of Lent, list 40 areas in your home that need decluttering, then spend those days filling 40 bags of clutter to be donated or recycled.
Well, here it is, halfway through Lent, so it's too late to start that one. But instead of letting this great decluttering idea pass me by, I'm going to modify it. Here is what I have come up with.
April has 30 days in it, so I am proposing 30 Bags in 30 Days.
Now, let's be honest here- 30 bags is a lot of stuff! But, if you are someone who hasn't decluttered some or many areas of your house in a while, 30 bags might not be too difficult to obtain. And you won't know unless you try, right?
If you you tend to declutter as you live, as I do, then coming up with 30 more bags of stuff could be a bit daunting. Or, if you struggle with purging, letting go of that much stuff, and finding the time to do it, can be overwhelming and difficult.
So my alternative plan is 30 Things in 30 Days.
This is the one I am going to personally strive for- minimally. I figure that if I can get rid of at least one thing from each area around my entire house, then I can come up with at least 30 things to get rid of, and I am ok with that. If I can get rid of even more things from some spaces, things that I truly have no use for either now or in the near future (or ever), then that is even better!
So first of all, decide if you are on the 30 Bag Plan or the 30 Thing Plan. If in doubt, start with the 30 Thing Plan and then work your way through the house, hopefyully gaining momentum along the way. Perhaps during the month it will evolve into a 30 Bag Plan. Get a friend to join you. Have a contest: The Biggest Purger, and see who can get rid of the most stuff. Whatever gets you motivated and keeps you motivated.
Second, make a list of 30 areas in your house that you would like to purge or declutter. I know 30 areas sounds like a lot, but if you divide the rooms and areas in your house into several smaller areas, such as drawers and shelves, it narrows the area you purge each day. Pick the places where things like to hide in your house the most. It can be as small as your purse or jewelry box. If it's a really cluttered area, you might want to narrow it down to just one drawer or just one shelf per day. That way, not only will you have time to purge the cluttered area, but you can also tidy up and clean the area as needed once it is cleared of unwanted objects. (I highly recommend this!)
Next, organize the list of areas you want to declutter by room or area. Try to stay in one particular room or area for a few days, if necessary, before moving on to a new room or area. For example, maybe you'll decide to focus on the kitchen one week and go drawer by drawer, shelf by shelf, or cupboard by cupboard, then move on to another room the next week. Some rooms or areas may only take one day. Everyone's personal plan will be unique and should make the most sense for them. I suggest you number the areas from 1-30 to help you stay on track. YOu can fill them in on a blank calendar if you want or just simply list them and cross them off each day. There is no right or wrong way- just your way. Make sure you have plenty of bags on hand and a few cleaning supplies. (More on the cleaning supplies a bit later).
Some of you have heard some of this before, but I think it bears repeating. I do recomend that you start some place in your house that is rather impersonal. If you are not accustomed to sorting and decluttering and purging, it may take you a few days to get those unused "decluttering muscles" into shape. It make take a week before you build up the stamina to see a longer decluttering session from beginning to end. So start small. And be realisitic. You have a month- take your time, be thorough, and don't try to conquer your list in a day.
One good place to start is the drawer you keep your kitchen utensils in. Take everything out and sort like objects together. Take a long hard look at what comes out of there and what you use on a regular basis. I recommend that you do not keep duplicates of most things in any room. Most families can survive with one of everything with perhaps a few exceptions. Start a donate bag for the extras and add to it any items that you do not use. Discard anything that is broken beyond repair or is unsightly looking. Please keep your discards to a minimum!
Now that you have everything out of the drawer, you could just toss everything back in again. Or, you could take just a few minutes to clean it as necessary and put everything back in a neat and organized way that doesn't require too much work to keep it that way. For me, that is a big part of the reason for this project. (Surprise!) Hot water, your favorite all-purpose household cleaner and a little bit of elbow grease is usually all that is required. Consider using some inexpensive organizing tools. For example, I like using pretty crocks for holding my bigger and most-used utensils and inexpensive plastic bins for holder small items in my bathroom. You can spend as little or as much as you want on organizing your items.
Remember: the less things you put back, the more likely you will be able to find things and the more likely you will be able to keep the area neat and tidy.
After you finish decluttering a room drawer by drawer, or shelf by shelf, then move on to the next room or area. The bathroom is another great neutral area to go to. Clean out any expired medicines, old and ratty towels, unused soaps and shampoos, etc. Bag up anything you don't want that can be donated: unused products can go to a woman's shelter and old towels can be donated to an animal shelter. Please safely discard the rest and then recycle the containers.
If you can, save your most emotional areas for last. I assure you that after purging for many days in a row, you will have worked yourself into a decluttering frenzy. It will be much easier to let go of your collection of little Billy's baby teeth and little Susie's collection of hair ribbons after you become accustomed to letting go of unwanted items and feeling your load lighten a bit more each day. Let yourself use a few minutes to paste (if you must) Billy's first lost tooth into his baby book and then tossing the rest. Consider saving only Susie's favorite pair of hair ribbons for that future scrapbooking project and then donating the rest.
This is the time to keep the best- and let go of the rest.
Do this with your children's school papers, artwork and even some of their photos. (It really is ok to let go of the blurry ones or the ones that only show the back of their head). Anything you bag from this area, please recycle or shred.
And then just keep going like this throughout the month, through your 30 areas, and declutter items such as extra or unwanted clothes, shoes, books, dishes, tools, gadgets, DVDs, toys, etc. Modify your decluttering and cleaning strategies as needed.
Does it seem more feasible now to come up with 30 bags of items to donate, recycle, reuse, repurpose, regift or recycle? You might get through your whole house in 30 days, you might not. Consider extending the purge or take a break if you need it.
And please don't let your clutter from one room just become clutter in another room. Make sure you have a plan as to how, when and where you are going to discard the items you purge. Perhaps you have friends or family who can use some of these items. Make sure you give it to them in a designated and timely fashion. Or perhaps you will decide to have a yard sale this spring. Great- but do it as soon as possible. Consider having one with friends. I am fortunate enough that our church has an annual yard sale to benefit our Relay for Life team, which raises money for the American Cancer Society, so consider having a yard sale for your favorite charity.
Now, if you are only decluttering 30 things (minimally), I recommend that you pull out the one or two items you wish to purge, and then tidy up as well as clean the shelf/drawer/container/closet, etc. If you can't tidy it up very easily, take another, longer, harder look at the items. Maybe it's time to let go of a few more things in that area than you originally thought. I often look at an area and think I have nothing to get rid of, but I usually suprise myself by finding a few things I no longer need. Let yourself be surprised.
I must confess that I have never tried decluttering for 30 days in a row. I'm sure there will be days where I will be too busy and I will not have time to purge even one tiny area. Especially during Easter vacation. Or I might forget to do it for a few days. That's ok. Just start again the next day. Do the best you can. I know that most of my items will be donated to our Relay for Life sale, and that is very motivating for me. Find what motivates you.
30 Bags in 30 Days or 30 Things in 30 Days... are you up for the challenge?
In a nutshell, 40 Bags in 40 Days is this:
During the 40 days of Lent, list 40 areas in your home that need decluttering, then spend those days filling 40 bags of clutter to be donated or recycled.
Well, here it is, halfway through Lent, so it's too late to start that one. But instead of letting this great decluttering idea pass me by, I'm going to modify it. Here is what I have come up with.
April has 30 days in it, so I am proposing 30 Bags in 30 Days.
Now, let's be honest here- 30 bags is a lot of stuff! But, if you are someone who hasn't decluttered some or many areas of your house in a while, 30 bags might not be too difficult to obtain. And you won't know unless you try, right?
If you you tend to declutter as you live, as I do, then coming up with 30 more bags of stuff could be a bit daunting. Or, if you struggle with purging, letting go of that much stuff, and finding the time to do it, can be overwhelming and difficult.
So my alternative plan is 30 Things in 30 Days.
This is the one I am going to personally strive for- minimally. I figure that if I can get rid of at least one thing from each area around my entire house, then I can come up with at least 30 things to get rid of, and I am ok with that. If I can get rid of even more things from some spaces, things that I truly have no use for either now or in the near future (or ever), then that is even better!
So first of all, decide if you are on the 30 Bag Plan or the 30 Thing Plan. If in doubt, start with the 30 Thing Plan and then work your way through the house, hopefyully gaining momentum along the way. Perhaps during the month it will evolve into a 30 Bag Plan. Get a friend to join you. Have a contest: The Biggest Purger, and see who can get rid of the most stuff. Whatever gets you motivated and keeps you motivated.
Second, make a list of 30 areas in your house that you would like to purge or declutter. I know 30 areas sounds like a lot, but if you divide the rooms and areas in your house into several smaller areas, such as drawers and shelves, it narrows the area you purge each day. Pick the places where things like to hide in your house the most. It can be as small as your purse or jewelry box. If it's a really cluttered area, you might want to narrow it down to just one drawer or just one shelf per day. That way, not only will you have time to purge the cluttered area, but you can also tidy up and clean the area as needed once it is cleared of unwanted objects. (I highly recommend this!)
Next, organize the list of areas you want to declutter by room or area. Try to stay in one particular room or area for a few days, if necessary, before moving on to a new room or area. For example, maybe you'll decide to focus on the kitchen one week and go drawer by drawer, shelf by shelf, or cupboard by cupboard, then move on to another room the next week. Some rooms or areas may only take one day. Everyone's personal plan will be unique and should make the most sense for them. I suggest you number the areas from 1-30 to help you stay on track. YOu can fill them in on a blank calendar if you want or just simply list them and cross them off each day. There is no right or wrong way- just your way. Make sure you have plenty of bags on hand and a few cleaning supplies. (More on the cleaning supplies a bit later).
Some of you have heard some of this before, but I think it bears repeating. I do recomend that you start some place in your house that is rather impersonal. If you are not accustomed to sorting and decluttering and purging, it may take you a few days to get those unused "decluttering muscles" into shape. It make take a week before you build up the stamina to see a longer decluttering session from beginning to end. So start small. And be realisitic. You have a month- take your time, be thorough, and don't try to conquer your list in a day.
One good place to start is the drawer you keep your kitchen utensils in. Take everything out and sort like objects together. Take a long hard look at what comes out of there and what you use on a regular basis. I recommend that you do not keep duplicates of most things in any room. Most families can survive with one of everything with perhaps a few exceptions. Start a donate bag for the extras and add to it any items that you do not use. Discard anything that is broken beyond repair or is unsightly looking. Please keep your discards to a minimum!
Now that you have everything out of the drawer, you could just toss everything back in again. Or, you could take just a few minutes to clean it as necessary and put everything back in a neat and organized way that doesn't require too much work to keep it that way. For me, that is a big part of the reason for this project. (Surprise!) Hot water, your favorite all-purpose household cleaner and a little bit of elbow grease is usually all that is required. Consider using some inexpensive organizing tools. For example, I like using pretty crocks for holding my bigger and most-used utensils and inexpensive plastic bins for holder small items in my bathroom. You can spend as little or as much as you want on organizing your items.
Remember: the less things you put back, the more likely you will be able to find things and the more likely you will be able to keep the area neat and tidy.
After you finish decluttering a room drawer by drawer, or shelf by shelf, then move on to the next room or area. The bathroom is another great neutral area to go to. Clean out any expired medicines, old and ratty towels, unused soaps and shampoos, etc. Bag up anything you don't want that can be donated: unused products can go to a woman's shelter and old towels can be donated to an animal shelter. Please safely discard the rest and then recycle the containers.
If you can, save your most emotional areas for last. I assure you that after purging for many days in a row, you will have worked yourself into a decluttering frenzy. It will be much easier to let go of your collection of little Billy's baby teeth and little Susie's collection of hair ribbons after you become accustomed to letting go of unwanted items and feeling your load lighten a bit more each day. Let yourself use a few minutes to paste (if you must) Billy's first lost tooth into his baby book and then tossing the rest. Consider saving only Susie's favorite pair of hair ribbons for that future scrapbooking project and then donating the rest.
This is the time to keep the best- and let go of the rest.
Do this with your children's school papers, artwork and even some of their photos. (It really is ok to let go of the blurry ones or the ones that only show the back of their head). Anything you bag from this area, please recycle or shred.
And then just keep going like this throughout the month, through your 30 areas, and declutter items such as extra or unwanted clothes, shoes, books, dishes, tools, gadgets, DVDs, toys, etc. Modify your decluttering and cleaning strategies as needed.
Does it seem more feasible now to come up with 30 bags of items to donate, recycle, reuse, repurpose, regift or recycle? You might get through your whole house in 30 days, you might not. Consider extending the purge or take a break if you need it.
And please don't let your clutter from one room just become clutter in another room. Make sure you have a plan as to how, when and where you are going to discard the items you purge. Perhaps you have friends or family who can use some of these items. Make sure you give it to them in a designated and timely fashion. Or perhaps you will decide to have a yard sale this spring. Great- but do it as soon as possible. Consider having one with friends. I am fortunate enough that our church has an annual yard sale to benefit our Relay for Life team, which raises money for the American Cancer Society, so consider having a yard sale for your favorite charity.
Now, if you are only decluttering 30 things (minimally), I recommend that you pull out the one or two items you wish to purge, and then tidy up as well as clean the shelf/drawer/container/closet, etc. If you can't tidy it up very easily, take another, longer, harder look at the items. Maybe it's time to let go of a few more things in that area than you originally thought. I often look at an area and think I have nothing to get rid of, but I usually suprise myself by finding a few things I no longer need. Let yourself be surprised.
I must confess that I have never tried decluttering for 30 days in a row. I'm sure there will be days where I will be too busy and I will not have time to purge even one tiny area. Especially during Easter vacation. Or I might forget to do it for a few days. That's ok. Just start again the next day. Do the best you can. I know that most of my items will be donated to our Relay for Life sale, and that is very motivating for me. Find what motivates you.
30 Bags in 30 Days or 30 Things in 30 Days... are you up for the challenge?
Friday, March 16, 2012
The Legend of Thomas Casey
Even though I am the direct descendant of an Irishman, I have never really considered myself as being very Irish. Maybe it's because my Irish heritage goes back so far, as far back as the late 1600s and early 1700s. Family legend has it that my ancestor, Thomas Casey, fled from Ireland to England as an infant with his nurse during some sort of incident, and is thought to have been the only survivor. I have always been fascinated by that story and the idea that if he hadn't been saved by his nurse, I wouldn't be here, and of course my children wouldn't be here. And I have always been intrigued by how each direct ancestor in my family tree is responsible for my existence.
My ancestor, Nancy Casey, was a descendant of Thomas Casey, although I can't remember exactly how (granddaughter? great-grandaughter?), and she was married to Jehiel Clark of Auburn. (Clark St. in Auburn is named for him). Their daughter, Nancy Casey Clark Keeler, was my great great grandmother. She was the mother of my great grandmother, Jane Clark Keeler Lewis, and grandmother to my grandfather, Charles Keeler Lewis. We actually know quite a bit about these family members from family letters, papers, genealogy materials and conversations between family members.
I have tried to pass on as much family history as I can to my own children, and there is a lot of it. (And other than the Thomas Casey story, I can't recall any other Irish references). The generations in my family are unusually long ones, so my children only have to trace back a few generations before they reach the Civil War. I think that's one of the reasons I know so much of my family's genealogy- much of it was first or second hand. I was born in 1963 and heard much of it from my mother, who was born in 1917, and from my grandmother, who was born in 1891, who heard it from her mother, who was born in 1853. I didn't know anyone prior to my grandparents, but because of the way so many memories were preserved, I felt as if I did know many of them.
So yes, you read that correctly- my great-grandmother was born in 1853- and my son was born in 2001. That's only 5 generations that span for almost 150 years! Pretty incredible. It is very similar on my father's side, too.
In the 1960s and 70s, I was raised a Protestant (Episcopalean, to be exact) in a fairly predominant Irish-Cathlolic community. Many of my childhood friends were Catholic. My mother often made corned beef and cabbage on St. Patrick's Day when I was growing up- probably because it was on sale, and probably because my father enjoyed eating it. But then again, she never liked to miss a holiday.
My kids are much the same way-- they never met a holiday they didn't like. Because my mother-in-law's Irish ancestry is more recent than mine, and more extensive, I am pretty certain that my kids are more Irish than I am. So most years we try to do something fun on St. Patrick's Day as a nod to their heritage. If nothing else, we wear green. Some years we have gone to the local deli to eat Reuben sandwiches. (If you've never had a Reuben sandwich, it is usually corned beef, saur kraut and swiss cheese, smothered in Russian dressing, and served on grilled rye bread. At least, that's how we eat them around here).
A few years ago my son's pre-school class made Irish soda bread for St. Patrick's Day. It's a really easy recipe and he really enjoyed it, so I have been making that every year since then. The kids look forward to it now every year now and so do I.
Around the same time my son was in pre-school, probably the last time St. Patrick's Day fell on a weekend, my family went to my nearby sister's home for corned beef and cabbage for dinner and I brought my Irish soda bread with me. It was a big hit, so this year we are inviting them to our house for corned beef and cabbage- and of course, Irish soda bread. I found a recipe for homemeade Shamrock Shakes on Pinterest, so we are making those for dessert tomorrow. If we like them, they may become part of the tradition. If not, that's ok. My son also wants to make green sugar cookies with green frosting... we'll see. (If I'm not careful, everything we eat that day will be green if he has his way, LOL!!)
But that's how traditions are around here. Fun. Trial by error. Some remembered, some tweaked, some forgotten. It's kind of like family memories, family traditions- and even family members.
For example, is the story about Thomas Casey really true? It probably is, but even if it wasn't true, it's a great story, so would it even matter if it never really happened? I do know that Thomas Casey himself really existed because I have seen his name in a genealogy book- isn't it just as amazing that after a few hundred years, he is still remembered by his ancestors???
I do not even know if the Casey line still exists. The only Casey family I ever knew of was one that lived in nearby Auburn, New York. They lived there in the early 1800s, when my great great great gradmother Nancy Casey lived there, until a few remaining descendants lived there as recent as the 1980s. I remember going to Auburn with my family once to meet them and unfortunately, I remember very little of the day and I do not know whatever happened to them. Perhaps they are still there.
And what about family traditions- who knows who even started some of those? And for what reason?
I know in our family, we always received an orange in our stocking at Christmas, and from reading old family letters, that was something they did more than a hundred years ago in my family. I do know from reading books like Little Women that receiving something like an orange during those times was considered a luxury. Something as simple as an orange was considered a luxury to my ancestors, so I'm glad that we have passed on that tradition to my children.
I remember always having a bowl of nuts in our house at Thanksgiving, usually walnuts and with a nutcracker to crack them, and I never knew why. But if you think about it, I guess nuts must have been harvested in the fall, and possibly a tradition as far back as the earliest Thanksgivings ever celebrated, so it would make sense that nuts would be plentiful and served at Thanksgiving time. However, my family is not a fan of walnuts, so that is one tradtion we have chosen not to carry on. Instead, I make our family's favorite corn casserole that my mother prepared every year, in the exact same casserole dish that she used. This casserole dish is now one of my most prized possessions.
I also grew up enjoying the first crop of asparagus from my grandfather's garden. I am incredibly grateful that my husband grew up with a similar traditon, and now we get to eat asparagus from my mother-in-law's garden every spring. And now my kids look forward to it every year along with us.
Each year on Christmas Eve, after we get home from church and get ready for bed, we have a tradition of all four of us climbing into our bed and reading "Twas the Night Before Christmas". A few years ago, our daughter read it to us for the first time. Last year, our son read it so us. This year, we each took turns reading a different Christmas story aloud. It was so incredible. It was really late by the time we finished, and we were all very tired, but I will never forget it. My kids are big readers, and it was just a simple act of reading to each other, but it was very moving for me to do that together as a family.
And that's what holiday traditions are for me- they are about being simple. And about being with family and remembering family who are no longer with us. They are about something we are very grateful for and that we really appreciate. And that we enjoy doing.
I think our simple family traditions say a lot about who we are, where we come from, and who we aspire to be in the future.
Maybe St. Patrick's Day isn't everyone's cup of green tea- and that's fine. It wasn't always mine either.
What holidays or traditions do speak to you? Why are they important and what memories do they invoke? Can you trace the origin of any of your traditions? What new traditions have you incorporated into your own family?
Or maybe you have so many traditions at Christmas or Easter that you never gave much thought about exploring other holidays or simpler traditions. Are all of those traditions still as important to you as they once were, or do they complicate the holiday? If so, in what way could you simplify those holidays and perhaps enjoy their full meaning even more? I know that we are starting to buy fewer and fewer gifts each Christmas, and that has helped us enjoy the true meaning of Christmas even more.
Whatever you decide to do, don't ever force it- just keep trying until you find the right thing. And keep it fun. And always remember:
May the road rise to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face.
And til we meet again may God hold you in the palm of His hand.
My ancestor, Nancy Casey, was a descendant of Thomas Casey, although I can't remember exactly how (granddaughter? great-grandaughter?), and she was married to Jehiel Clark of Auburn. (Clark St. in Auburn is named for him). Their daughter, Nancy Casey Clark Keeler, was my great great grandmother. She was the mother of my great grandmother, Jane Clark Keeler Lewis, and grandmother to my grandfather, Charles Keeler Lewis. We actually know quite a bit about these family members from family letters, papers, genealogy materials and conversations between family members.
I have tried to pass on as much family history as I can to my own children, and there is a lot of it. (And other than the Thomas Casey story, I can't recall any other Irish references). The generations in my family are unusually long ones, so my children only have to trace back a few generations before they reach the Civil War. I think that's one of the reasons I know so much of my family's genealogy- much of it was first or second hand. I was born in 1963 and heard much of it from my mother, who was born in 1917, and from my grandmother, who was born in 1891, who heard it from her mother, who was born in 1853. I didn't know anyone prior to my grandparents, but because of the way so many memories were preserved, I felt as if I did know many of them.
So yes, you read that correctly- my great-grandmother was born in 1853- and my son was born in 2001. That's only 5 generations that span for almost 150 years! Pretty incredible. It is very similar on my father's side, too.
In the 1960s and 70s, I was raised a Protestant (Episcopalean, to be exact) in a fairly predominant Irish-Cathlolic community. Many of my childhood friends were Catholic. My mother often made corned beef and cabbage on St. Patrick's Day when I was growing up- probably because it was on sale, and probably because my father enjoyed eating it. But then again, she never liked to miss a holiday.
My kids are much the same way-- they never met a holiday they didn't like. Because my mother-in-law's Irish ancestry is more recent than mine, and more extensive, I am pretty certain that my kids are more Irish than I am. So most years we try to do something fun on St. Patrick's Day as a nod to their heritage. If nothing else, we wear green. Some years we have gone to the local deli to eat Reuben sandwiches. (If you've never had a Reuben sandwich, it is usually corned beef, saur kraut and swiss cheese, smothered in Russian dressing, and served on grilled rye bread. At least, that's how we eat them around here).
A few years ago my son's pre-school class made Irish soda bread for St. Patrick's Day. It's a really easy recipe and he really enjoyed it, so I have been making that every year since then. The kids look forward to it now every year now and so do I.
Around the same time my son was in pre-school, probably the last time St. Patrick's Day fell on a weekend, my family went to my nearby sister's home for corned beef and cabbage for dinner and I brought my Irish soda bread with me. It was a big hit, so this year we are inviting them to our house for corned beef and cabbage- and of course, Irish soda bread. I found a recipe for homemeade Shamrock Shakes on Pinterest, so we are making those for dessert tomorrow. If we like them, they may become part of the tradition. If not, that's ok. My son also wants to make green sugar cookies with green frosting... we'll see. (If I'm not careful, everything we eat that day will be green if he has his way, LOL!!)
But that's how traditions are around here. Fun. Trial by error. Some remembered, some tweaked, some forgotten. It's kind of like family memories, family traditions- and even family members.
For example, is the story about Thomas Casey really true? It probably is, but even if it wasn't true, it's a great story, so would it even matter if it never really happened? I do know that Thomas Casey himself really existed because I have seen his name in a genealogy book- isn't it just as amazing that after a few hundred years, he is still remembered by his ancestors???
I do not even know if the Casey line still exists. The only Casey family I ever knew of was one that lived in nearby Auburn, New York. They lived there in the early 1800s, when my great great great gradmother Nancy Casey lived there, until a few remaining descendants lived there as recent as the 1980s. I remember going to Auburn with my family once to meet them and unfortunately, I remember very little of the day and I do not know whatever happened to them. Perhaps they are still there.
And what about family traditions- who knows who even started some of those? And for what reason?
I know in our family, we always received an orange in our stocking at Christmas, and from reading old family letters, that was something they did more than a hundred years ago in my family. I do know from reading books like Little Women that receiving something like an orange during those times was considered a luxury. Something as simple as an orange was considered a luxury to my ancestors, so I'm glad that we have passed on that tradition to my children.
I remember always having a bowl of nuts in our house at Thanksgiving, usually walnuts and with a nutcracker to crack them, and I never knew why. But if you think about it, I guess nuts must have been harvested in the fall, and possibly a tradition as far back as the earliest Thanksgivings ever celebrated, so it would make sense that nuts would be plentiful and served at Thanksgiving time. However, my family is not a fan of walnuts, so that is one tradtion we have chosen not to carry on. Instead, I make our family's favorite corn casserole that my mother prepared every year, in the exact same casserole dish that she used. This casserole dish is now one of my most prized possessions.
I also grew up enjoying the first crop of asparagus from my grandfather's garden. I am incredibly grateful that my husband grew up with a similar traditon, and now we get to eat asparagus from my mother-in-law's garden every spring. And now my kids look forward to it every year along with us.
Each year on Christmas Eve, after we get home from church and get ready for bed, we have a tradition of all four of us climbing into our bed and reading "Twas the Night Before Christmas". A few years ago, our daughter read it to us for the first time. Last year, our son read it so us. This year, we each took turns reading a different Christmas story aloud. It was so incredible. It was really late by the time we finished, and we were all very tired, but I will never forget it. My kids are big readers, and it was just a simple act of reading to each other, but it was very moving for me to do that together as a family.
And that's what holiday traditions are for me- they are about being simple. And about being with family and remembering family who are no longer with us. They are about something we are very grateful for and that we really appreciate. And that we enjoy doing.
I think our simple family traditions say a lot about who we are, where we come from, and who we aspire to be in the future.
Maybe St. Patrick's Day isn't everyone's cup of green tea- and that's fine. It wasn't always mine either.
What holidays or traditions do speak to you? Why are they important and what memories do they invoke? Can you trace the origin of any of your traditions? What new traditions have you incorporated into your own family?
Or maybe you have so many traditions at Christmas or Easter that you never gave much thought about exploring other holidays or simpler traditions. Are all of those traditions still as important to you as they once were, or do they complicate the holiday? If so, in what way could you simplify those holidays and perhaps enjoy their full meaning even more? I know that we are starting to buy fewer and fewer gifts each Christmas, and that has helped us enjoy the true meaning of Christmas even more.
Whatever you decide to do, don't ever force it- just keep trying until you find the right thing. And keep it fun. And always remember:
May the road rise to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face.
And til we meet again may God hold you in the palm of His hand.
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Sentimental Jewelry
Recently I organized my jewelry boxes. It was something I had been wanting to do for years, but I always put it off. Finally, I decided it was time to organize them because many of my necklaces were becoming so tangled I was afraid one of them might get broken.
Not knowing how else to do it, I decided the the old-fashioned way was best:
I simply opened up my jewelry boxes and then dumped out all the contents into a big pile.
First, I sorted out the items I no longer wanted (they were either broken or just not my taste anymore), and I either tossed those out or put them into a small donate bag.
Then, I organized the items I did want to keep. I untangled at least a dozen necklaces and I paired up all of the earrings.
Everything else that was leftover was purely sentimental (mostly pieces from my childrhood and "jewelry" made by my children) and not really knowing what I wanted to do with them, I temporarily left those in a small pile.
Now, I'm not really a huge jewelry person. I tried wearing necklaces in high school, but they were always on impossibly thin and delicate chains that had ridiculously and easily broken clasps. All I remember wearing during and after college was earrings. And perhaps the occasional bracelet, which usually felt tight and uncomfortable on my thick wrists. Up until when my kids were really small, I only wore earrings, my engagement ring and my wedding band.
That changed several years ago when I bought two or three necklaces for myself at a friend's jewelry party. I picked out pretty but sensible (and fairly indestructible) "go with everything" pieces and told myself that they were meant to be worn- and I have actually worn them quite a bit. So much so that I let myself buy a few more necklaces at another jewelry part. And do you know what?
Wearing jewelry makes me feel good.
It makes me feel a little bit more put together and just a little bit dressed up. My skin is very sensitive so I seldom wear make-up anymore, so now I just slip on a necklace for an instant pick-me-up. And knowing that I wear them, that they are not just just sitting there in my jewelry box, also makes me feel good.
I discovered during my recent jewelry purge that I have quite a few pairs of earrings, and many of them are the post-style earrings. I know that I don't always change my earrings as often as I might, and I'm working on that. I decided to keep most them on a trial basis. Today, for example, I am wearing a pair of earrings that I know I have only worn a few times. If I like them enough to wear on a rotating basis, then I will keep them. The ones I don't wear, won't make it through the next purge.
Happily, I was able to contain all of my necklaces and earring into two wooden jewely boxes.
Lastly, I was faced with all of my sentimental pieces from my childhood, such as my silver charm bracelet and the "jewelry" lovingly made for me by my children. I could have easily thown it all into the trash and no one would have been the wiser, but I decided not to. I will admit, I let these items tug at my heartstrings. I really don't have many things from my childhood, and these things were quite small. And now that they are thirteen and ten years old, my kids are probably not going to make me anymore jewelry.
Sentiment, in its right place, is a good thing.
I pondered a while about where to keep the sentiments of my childhood, and then it came to me. My grandmother passed away when I was fourteen, and I have a yellow heart-shaped ceramic box that came from my grandmother's house. I'm sure it has little or no monetary value. I have always associated the color yellow with my grandmother because of all the daffodils I picked for her as a child, so I decided that this box was a fitting place for these items from my childhood.
I was going to tuck my children's homemade jewelry away. If I left it out, it would only attract dust, right? Well, that's what I usually tell everyone who is decluttering.
Well, once in a while you've gotta break the rules...
On a whim, I set my children's handmade jewelry inside a pretty Limoges basket that I keep on my dresser along side my jewelry boxes. The basket had come from my aunt's house years ago, before I was even married. Not that it matters, but it's probably one of the few pieces from her house that has any monetary value. Previoulsy I had used it to put my jewelry in when I took it off instead of putting it away where it belonged. My aunt never had children of her own, so it somehow felt right to place all of my children's handmade jewelry into that basket.
Now I can look at that handmade jewelry every day and think of all of the love my children's chubby little hands put into making that jewelry for me. Memories that are worth far more to me than whatever that basket may be worth.
And now I have to put my jewelry away when I take it off, instead of setting it aside to do another day... and that at least is helping me stay more organized... so I like that.
As I look at my necklaces clustered inside its little wooden home, I wonder if I might be able to store them better some other way. I'm toying with getting a "Jewelry Tree" from Bed, Bath & Beyond. It looks a little large to me in the catalog, so I won't be able to decide until I go to the store in person. My husband & I have worked hard to create a bedroom that is much more of a haven than it used to be.... and I'm not sure if a Jewelry Tree fits into a haven. We shall see... but for now, my jewelry has a home and I can find it. And use it. And enjoy it. And occasionally remiminisce. Isn't that the point of having things???
What does your jewely say about you? And what do your jewelry boxes say about you?
What pieces could you part with- and what pieces are too sentimental to let go of?
And if it's been a while since you've worn much of your jewelry- what are you waiting for?
Not knowing how else to do it, I decided the the old-fashioned way was best:
I simply opened up my jewelry boxes and then dumped out all the contents into a big pile.
First, I sorted out the items I no longer wanted (they were either broken or just not my taste anymore), and I either tossed those out or put them into a small donate bag.
Then, I organized the items I did want to keep. I untangled at least a dozen necklaces and I paired up all of the earrings.
Everything else that was leftover was purely sentimental (mostly pieces from my childrhood and "jewelry" made by my children) and not really knowing what I wanted to do with them, I temporarily left those in a small pile.
Now, I'm not really a huge jewelry person. I tried wearing necklaces in high school, but they were always on impossibly thin and delicate chains that had ridiculously and easily broken clasps. All I remember wearing during and after college was earrings. And perhaps the occasional bracelet, which usually felt tight and uncomfortable on my thick wrists. Up until when my kids were really small, I only wore earrings, my engagement ring and my wedding band.
That changed several years ago when I bought two or three necklaces for myself at a friend's jewelry party. I picked out pretty but sensible (and fairly indestructible) "go with everything" pieces and told myself that they were meant to be worn- and I have actually worn them quite a bit. So much so that I let myself buy a few more necklaces at another jewelry part. And do you know what?
Wearing jewelry makes me feel good.
It makes me feel a little bit more put together and just a little bit dressed up. My skin is very sensitive so I seldom wear make-up anymore, so now I just slip on a necklace for an instant pick-me-up. And knowing that I wear them, that they are not just just sitting there in my jewelry box, also makes me feel good.
I discovered during my recent jewelry purge that I have quite a few pairs of earrings, and many of them are the post-style earrings. I know that I don't always change my earrings as often as I might, and I'm working on that. I decided to keep most them on a trial basis. Today, for example, I am wearing a pair of earrings that I know I have only worn a few times. If I like them enough to wear on a rotating basis, then I will keep them. The ones I don't wear, won't make it through the next purge.
Happily, I was able to contain all of my necklaces and earring into two wooden jewely boxes.
Lastly, I was faced with all of my sentimental pieces from my childhood, such as my silver charm bracelet and the "jewelry" lovingly made for me by my children. I could have easily thown it all into the trash and no one would have been the wiser, but I decided not to. I will admit, I let these items tug at my heartstrings. I really don't have many things from my childhood, and these things were quite small. And now that they are thirteen and ten years old, my kids are probably not going to make me anymore jewelry.
Sentiment, in its right place, is a good thing.
I pondered a while about where to keep the sentiments of my childhood, and then it came to me. My grandmother passed away when I was fourteen, and I have a yellow heart-shaped ceramic box that came from my grandmother's house. I'm sure it has little or no monetary value. I have always associated the color yellow with my grandmother because of all the daffodils I picked for her as a child, so I decided that this box was a fitting place for these items from my childhood.
I was going to tuck my children's homemade jewelry away. If I left it out, it would only attract dust, right? Well, that's what I usually tell everyone who is decluttering.
Well, once in a while you've gotta break the rules...
On a whim, I set my children's handmade jewelry inside a pretty Limoges basket that I keep on my dresser along side my jewelry boxes. The basket had come from my aunt's house years ago, before I was even married. Not that it matters, but it's probably one of the few pieces from her house that has any monetary value. Previoulsy I had used it to put my jewelry in when I took it off instead of putting it away where it belonged. My aunt never had children of her own, so it somehow felt right to place all of my children's handmade jewelry into that basket.
Now I can look at that handmade jewelry every day and think of all of the love my children's chubby little hands put into making that jewelry for me. Memories that are worth far more to me than whatever that basket may be worth.
And now I have to put my jewelry away when I take it off, instead of setting it aside to do another day... and that at least is helping me stay more organized... so I like that.
As I look at my necklaces clustered inside its little wooden home, I wonder if I might be able to store them better some other way. I'm toying with getting a "Jewelry Tree" from Bed, Bath & Beyond. It looks a little large to me in the catalog, so I won't be able to decide until I go to the store in person. My husband & I have worked hard to create a bedroom that is much more of a haven than it used to be.... and I'm not sure if a Jewelry Tree fits into a haven. We shall see... but for now, my jewelry has a home and I can find it. And use it. And enjoy it. And occasionally remiminisce. Isn't that the point of having things???
What does your jewely say about you? And what do your jewelry boxes say about you?
What pieces could you part with- and what pieces are too sentimental to let go of?
And if it's been a while since you've worn much of your jewelry- what are you waiting for?
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Personal Commandments
At the beginning of this year, I started reading a wonderful book by Gretchen Rubin, called "The Happiness Project". In it, she developed her own set of commandments, or words to live by. Nope, not those Commandments- which I do think are great and I do my best to live by those Commandments. These are a more personal set of commandments, so that is what I know call them- Personal Commandments. These are words that ring true for her and have helped her achieve greater happiness. And, she she encourages her readers to do the same. As a reult of reading her book, and through her encouragement, many people have begun their own Happiness Projects. I read her blog and follow her on Facebook and receive "Happiness Quotes" from her that she emails daily. Maybe next year I will start a Happiness Project, but right now my focus is on other things, like learning how to blog. (I am getting there, slowly but surely... )
Even though I'm not embarking on my own Happiness Project this year, for the last few months I've had the idea of at least developing my own Personal Commandments. Things that really speak to me of who I am, or who I want to be, and how I can achieve more happiness, inspire more hapiness in others, etc. But so far, nothing had really spoken to me. Well, I do have my First Personal Commandment, which I "borrowed" from her-
Be Myself. Be Carol.
Wherever I go, wherever I am, I am me. Now, that one isn't really terribly hard for me. Well, at least not so much anymore. The idea of being ourselves seems to be something most of us get better at as we get older. So in all of life's situations, I try to be myself- not what others expect me to be. And when I say "myself", I mean I act just like I would normally act in all situations, and sometimes I act how I would like to act, and always to the best of my ability. this includes being confident without being arrogant, being thoughtful without being in your face, being supportive without being a know-it-all. Following the golden rule, being the kind of friend I would want to have, giving and helping whenever possible without sacrificing money needed to pay our bills or time spent with family, smiling more... you get the idea.
Yeah, this is the true me at my blog. A little nerdy. A little naughty. Hopefully a little funny and inspiring? Probably somewhat boring. Sorry, what you see is what you get.
So this morning, well actually all week, I have had a phrase stuck in my mind. It's one that I have used often with my children:
Be a problem solver.
I don't know where I ever heard it- it doesn't sound like anything that anyone has ever said to me- but I have said it to my children countless times as they have been growing up, and in all types of situations. And I have seen them take that advice, and sometimes with my help, put it into action. I have also seen them ignore this advice.
This past week, my husband hasn't been around much because of working longer hours, and in his absence I realized how often, and in how many different ways, I depend on him. Especially when it comes to doing things at home. Or on the computer. Some things on the computer I have figured out for myself- sometimes out of curiosity, other times out of desperation. Occasionally, if I think it's easier to just ask him to help me with something or do it for me, then I will.
A few weeks ago he showed me how to scan pictures onto the computer and then I scanned a whole bunch of them for fear that I would forget how to do it. I think I remember... but I'm not really sure.... and I haven't scanned any pictures since. And if I don't remember how to do something the next time I want to do it, well I would probably just ask him to show me again. And he would. Heck, I could ask him to show me how a hundred times and he wouldn't care. The man has the patience of a saint with me. And I know it. (I'm sure he knows it, too). And because I know it, I'm not sure I really pay full attention when he shows me to how to do something. Which is probably not very nice of me and certainly not very efficient. Or mature.
At our house, we are in the process of Simplifying Our Lives, and this week, I am trying to put together a Home Management Notebook, which will be a collection of our monthly budgets, menus, shopping lists, cleaning lists, to-do lists, etc. When completed, all of this important information iwill be in one place. This idea was actually inspired by Tsh Oxenreider's fabulous book, "Simple Organization". I am no computer expert, but I do like to figure out some things for myself when I can, so I spent some of last week trying to figure out how to write up some information for this notebook All By Myself on the computer. It sounded simple enough, and it was all part of Simplifying Our Lives, so it should be simple, right? Yes, except for the fact that I couldn't figure out how to do something the way I wanted to do it. There were certain things that I wanted to do a certain way, and I realized that I just didn't know how to do them.
Please keep in mind that I am in my late 40s. Computers were a relatively new thing when I was in high school and college, and I never had the kind of job where I used a computer. All of my computer skills are either self-taught or were taught to me by my husband or friends, or there are things I have picked up here and there. I taught myself how to join an online parenting site when my daughter was a baby, I taught myself how to sell things on eBay, I taught myself how to use Facebook, and I am teaching myself how to blog. But this time, I was stuck. Sometimes being a problem-solver means figuring things out for yourself. And sometimes, it just means knowing when to ask for help.
So now my husband is trying to teach me how to use Microsoft Word Excel (or at least I think that's what it's called, LOL- see what I mean?). He uses this at work a lot and has used it for many years. I had never had any use for it before, so I never learned how to use it. Two days ago he showed me some helpful things, and yesterday, when I sat down to do some work, I could remember some of it, but not all of it, which was a little frustrating for me because I wanted to know how to do it all. At the time he was teaching it to me, I did say to him (after he kept showing me an overwhelming number of things), "Please don't show me too much at once- it's late and I'm tired and you know I won't remember it all. Just show me what I ask you to and then when I need to learn more, I will ask for more help". I used to always think those thoughts in my head, thinking I must be Incredibly Stupid because I couldn't learn many new things very quickly, but this time I vocalized it. And so he stopped showing me more than I could handle. That was huge for us. And I mean Huge.
So today I can remember some of the stuff he showed me, but the other stuff that he wanted to show me- the fun stuff (well, it looked fun to me)- well, I haven't got a clue. And now I can't wait for another lesson from him! A short, focused, step by step lesson that will show me the next level that I am ready for so I can practice using it. And then I can probably figure out more things by myself.
Because, you see, that is how I learn. Some people can digest great volumes of information all at once and then they are good to go. But not me- I need to learn the basics, master those, and then move to the next step. And the fresher my mind is, the more I can learn. Once I feel confident, I can ususally move on from there by myself.
Hey, I just realized something- that is me being me. That is me Being Carol. I am using my First Personal Commandment!
Which then helped lead me to my Second Personal Commandment- Be a Problem Solver.
And now... wait for it... I think I also have my Third Personal Commandment:
Know when to ask for help. I know I have said that one to my kids a lot, too. Sounds like I need to start taking some of my own advice, because it's pretty good stuff!!
Well, whaddaya know. I just might be onto something here... and to think, I figured it out all by myself.
Even though I'm not embarking on my own Happiness Project this year, for the last few months I've had the idea of at least developing my own Personal Commandments. Things that really speak to me of who I am, or who I want to be, and how I can achieve more happiness, inspire more hapiness in others, etc. But so far, nothing had really spoken to me. Well, I do have my First Personal Commandment, which I "borrowed" from her-
Be Myself. Be Carol.
Wherever I go, wherever I am, I am me. Now, that one isn't really terribly hard for me. Well, at least not so much anymore. The idea of being ourselves seems to be something most of us get better at as we get older. So in all of life's situations, I try to be myself- not what others expect me to be. And when I say "myself", I mean I act just like I would normally act in all situations, and sometimes I act how I would like to act, and always to the best of my ability. this includes being confident without being arrogant, being thoughtful without being in your face, being supportive without being a know-it-all. Following the golden rule, being the kind of friend I would want to have, giving and helping whenever possible without sacrificing money needed to pay our bills or time spent with family, smiling more... you get the idea.
Yeah, this is the true me at my blog. A little nerdy. A little naughty. Hopefully a little funny and inspiring? Probably somewhat boring. Sorry, what you see is what you get.
So this morning, well actually all week, I have had a phrase stuck in my mind. It's one that I have used often with my children:
Be a problem solver.
I don't know where I ever heard it- it doesn't sound like anything that anyone has ever said to me- but I have said it to my children countless times as they have been growing up, and in all types of situations. And I have seen them take that advice, and sometimes with my help, put it into action. I have also seen them ignore this advice.
This past week, my husband hasn't been around much because of working longer hours, and in his absence I realized how often, and in how many different ways, I depend on him. Especially when it comes to doing things at home. Or on the computer. Some things on the computer I have figured out for myself- sometimes out of curiosity, other times out of desperation. Occasionally, if I think it's easier to just ask him to help me with something or do it for me, then I will.
A few weeks ago he showed me how to scan pictures onto the computer and then I scanned a whole bunch of them for fear that I would forget how to do it. I think I remember... but I'm not really sure.... and I haven't scanned any pictures since. And if I don't remember how to do something the next time I want to do it, well I would probably just ask him to show me again. And he would. Heck, I could ask him to show me how a hundred times and he wouldn't care. The man has the patience of a saint with me. And I know it. (I'm sure he knows it, too). And because I know it, I'm not sure I really pay full attention when he shows me to how to do something. Which is probably not very nice of me and certainly not very efficient. Or mature.
At our house, we are in the process of Simplifying Our Lives, and this week, I am trying to put together a Home Management Notebook, which will be a collection of our monthly budgets, menus, shopping lists, cleaning lists, to-do lists, etc. When completed, all of this important information iwill be in one place. This idea was actually inspired by Tsh Oxenreider's fabulous book, "Simple Organization". I am no computer expert, but I do like to figure out some things for myself when I can, so I spent some of last week trying to figure out how to write up some information for this notebook All By Myself on the computer. It sounded simple enough, and it was all part of Simplifying Our Lives, so it should be simple, right? Yes, except for the fact that I couldn't figure out how to do something the way I wanted to do it. There were certain things that I wanted to do a certain way, and I realized that I just didn't know how to do them.
Please keep in mind that I am in my late 40s. Computers were a relatively new thing when I was in high school and college, and I never had the kind of job where I used a computer. All of my computer skills are either self-taught or were taught to me by my husband or friends, or there are things I have picked up here and there. I taught myself how to join an online parenting site when my daughter was a baby, I taught myself how to sell things on eBay, I taught myself how to use Facebook, and I am teaching myself how to blog. But this time, I was stuck. Sometimes being a problem-solver means figuring things out for yourself. And sometimes, it just means knowing when to ask for help.
So now my husband is trying to teach me how to use Microsoft Word Excel (or at least I think that's what it's called, LOL- see what I mean?). He uses this at work a lot and has used it for many years. I had never had any use for it before, so I never learned how to use it. Two days ago he showed me some helpful things, and yesterday, when I sat down to do some work, I could remember some of it, but not all of it, which was a little frustrating for me because I wanted to know how to do it all. At the time he was teaching it to me, I did say to him (after he kept showing me an overwhelming number of things), "Please don't show me too much at once- it's late and I'm tired and you know I won't remember it all. Just show me what I ask you to and then when I need to learn more, I will ask for more help". I used to always think those thoughts in my head, thinking I must be Incredibly Stupid because I couldn't learn many new things very quickly, but this time I vocalized it. And so he stopped showing me more than I could handle. That was huge for us. And I mean Huge.
So today I can remember some of the stuff he showed me, but the other stuff that he wanted to show me- the fun stuff (well, it looked fun to me)- well, I haven't got a clue. And now I can't wait for another lesson from him! A short, focused, step by step lesson that will show me the next level that I am ready for so I can practice using it. And then I can probably figure out more things by myself.
Because, you see, that is how I learn. Some people can digest great volumes of information all at once and then they are good to go. But not me- I need to learn the basics, master those, and then move to the next step. And the fresher my mind is, the more I can learn. Once I feel confident, I can ususally move on from there by myself.
Hey, I just realized something- that is me being me. That is me Being Carol. I am using my First Personal Commandment!
Which then helped lead me to my Second Personal Commandment- Be a Problem Solver.
And now... wait for it... I think I also have my Third Personal Commandment:
Know when to ask for help. I know I have said that one to my kids a lot, too. Sounds like I need to start taking some of my own advice, because it's pretty good stuff!!
Well, whaddaya know. I just might be onto something here... and to think, I figured it out all by myself.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Menu Planning 101
Honey, what's for dinner?
Mom, I'm starving, how long until dinner is ready??
Oh darn, I forgot to defrost something for dinner. Again. Who wants take out??? (Again).
How many times have those things happened to you? A few times a month? A few times a week?? Daily???
As I sit here typing, it is 10:45 AM and I can tell you exactly what's for dinner at our house tonight. It's the same thing we have every Thursday night: leftovers. You may scoff: "leftovers? That's not dinner, that's cheating. That's not menu planning". Well, it is in our house. Through Menu Planning, we have discovered that not only do we waste less time and less money, we also waste less food. It wasn't always this way, but I can assure you, it is much less stressful.
I had heard of several of my friends doing this thing called Menu Planning. They would plan every meal that their family would eat- ahead of time! I was in awe. One friend had her family's meals planned for an entire month- and I think that included breakfast and lunch, too. But the thought of doing that totally overwhelmed me so I never pursued Menu Planning. My husband and I shared a lot of the cooking so I reasoned that it wasn't very stressful. Yes, some nights we didn't know what were having for dinner until he came home from work at 4:30, but we were getting by. The kids were eating well, no one was starving. We were ok. Right? Well, not really.
What was really happeneing, if I am totally honest about it, was that I was relying more and more on my husband to cook because cooking was totally stressing me out. Or I would decide what to eat for dinner just before the kids came home from school and I would need him to pick up some necessary items on his way home from work. Or we would get bored and try new recipes that no one really liked (sorry, honey!) And worst of all, we would find ourselves going out to eat. A lot. I'm sure we ate out at least once each week. And because it wasn't "fast food", we told ourselves it was fine.
Well, let me tell you, taking a family of four out to eat gets pretty expensive after a while. And even though we usually made "healthy choices" when we ate out, the portions were often very large and you really couldn't control how they were prepared, so those extra calories really added up, too! And actually, going out to eat get kind of boring after a while.
We soon realized one of the biggest issues we dealt with was Time Management. Last fall our actitivities were out of control. Family dinner was always very important for us, but some nights it was hard to figure out not only when anyone would be home to eat dinner, but when one of us would be home to make it. I am a stay at home mom, so you wouldn't think that would be a problem, but it was. But it seemed that the busier we were, the more we ate out, the more we were in debt and the more we were stressed.
At the beginning of this year, we made some serious changes to the way we live. Our family is in a bit of a financial crisis right now, which is a fancy way of saying we have some serious credit card debt to pay off. We knew right away that one of the first things that had to go, along with some other things, was eating out. Not only did we eliminate going out to eat, we also stopped buying our children school lunches. When we stopped doing those two things, we realized that if we wanted to save even more money and waste leass food, we knew we needed to limit our shopping to once a week (mostly to buy fresh produce and replenish depleted supplies) and twe knew it was time to try Menu Planning.
At our house, Menu Planning begins near the end of each week. Rather casually, my husband and I begin to think and talk about what we would like to eat for the following week. My husband enjoys cooking and we share much of the cooking each week, so it makes sense for us to share the Menu Planning together. (If you have a significant other that does not do any of the cooking, decide if it makes sense to include them in the menu planning. And I do encourage you to, even if it's to help choose one meal they enjoy each week). We also ask the kids if there's something they want to eat that week that maybe we haven't eaten in a while. After all, we are cooking for them, too.
Because we do the bulk of our shopping each Saturday morning, we try to choose what meals we plan to the eat the next week by Friday night, although often we are still fine-tuning the menu during breakfast on Saturday morning. That's just how we roll. After the menu for the week is finalized, we put together a grocery list to buy the foods we need to make those meals happen. (Saturday shopping works for us, but you can choose a different day of the week if that works better for you). Menu Planning is really that simple. The biggest obstacle can be choosing the meals that your family will eat.
We choose meals in a variety of ways. Our taste and our health come first. Luckily, our taste in food is pretty simple and memebers of our family life many (though not all!) of the same things. Simpler meals are often healthier, easier and faster to cook and can be very economical. We try to use fresh ingredients whenever we can by eating whatever produce is in season. We avoid processed foods as much as possible.
I am no dietician, but traditionally we eat a small-ish portion of protein at each meal, including chicken, pork, beef, fish or eggs. We supplement each meal with a starch or grain, and a fruit or vegetable. We usually have a pasta night that can be meatless or it can include a protein. We include a green salad with our meals as much as possible. This is probably pretty close to what many of you already do. If you or anyone in your family are a vegetarian, you can remove the proteins and substitute more grains, beans and fruits and vegetables).
Often, we choose meals based on items that we already have and then add items to our Weekly Grocery List that we need to complete that meal. Most of the meals we make are very simple and do not require a recipe, just our memory, so we just add items to our grocery list that we know we don't have on hand for those meals. Sometimes we come up with a meal we're dying to have and we find that we have none of the ingredients on hand. If this meal is from a recipe that we don't have memorized, we always consult the written recipe to be sure we have all of the necessary ingredients and the correct amounts. There's nothing like being in the middle of cooking a meal and discovering you are missing a key ingredient or do not have enough of a certain ingredient.
Because my husband and children take their lunch to work and school nearly everyday, we also take that into consideration when Menu Planning and creating our Weekly Grocery List. We think about what meals will yield leftovers for lunches and plan accordingly- we don't want to create too many leftovers, but we do want to make sure we create enough for lunches. Each of my children has a thermos that they can bring to school which enables them to have a variety of items for lunch, including soup and pasta dishes. My husband will eat almost anything we had had for dinnerand bring it to work for lunch. We also add items to our Weekly Grocery List that supplement their homemade lunches. And let me add that now that we don't eat out and now that the kids bring their lunches more often, our grocery bill has increased somewhat. However, we are buying only what we need each week, making plenty and nutritious meals out of that food and if we factor in what we were spending on school lunches and eating out, we are in actuality spending less money each month.
And because many of our meals yield plenty of leftovers, we have designated Thursday as Leftover Dinner Night. That way we can clean our fridge in time for our weekend shopping and leftover food doesn't sit in the fridge over the weekend, uneaten and destines for the garbage disposal. I actually get a lot of joy out of Leftover Night. First of all, I really enjoy the fact that little or none of our food is ever wasted. And as that food is eaten and enjoyed, it clears out room in the fridge for the next week's meals. Therefore, I know that I won't be trying to shove more food into an already full refrigerator after our weekly shopping trip. Also, Leftover Night is a little spiritual for me because it reminds me of what I love about communty- everything coming together to make something bigger and better than it was all by itself. It's taking a little bit of this and a little bit of that and making a meal. But most of all, I love that my family does not complain about lefotvers. I guess they must see it as a blessing, which it is. They choose from whatever is in there and, God Bless Them, they eat it!! Once in a while I have to make something for someone to supplement what there is to choose from, but it's never a big deal. Leftover Night may not be their first choice for a meal, but leftovers are a reality for us, our financial stability, our sanity, and my family appreciates that there is food on the table that they didn't have to make. I did want to add that a few things we intentionally make large quantities of for the purpose of freezing so we can enjoy that meal in the future with little or no work, such as matballs, spaghetti sauce, and chicken stock (made from our good old Sunday Dinner Roast Chicken).
We also look ahead to our Weekly Activities before planning our menu. If there is a night of the week that dictates that we serve an early meal, or a later meal, then we choose our meals accordingly. Sometimes we shift Leftover Night around, or we switch meals around within that week when something unexpected comes along. That's called Life. But most of the time, we do discipline ourselves to stay within the plan as much as possible. Leftover Night might would work better for you on a night when everyone nees to out the door early or on Friday Night or Sunday Night. Play around with it until you find what works best for you.
Years ago, when my husband and I regularly attended my Episcopal Church, we started eating fish on Friday nights. Now, I know, the practice of eating fish on Fridays is one that is mostly practiced by Roman Catholics. I believe that originated to help Catholics be more mindful of eating lighter during Lent. So that year, we adopted the same practice for the same healthy reason and it just sort of stuck. Now we are Methodists, and even though I know that that most good Methodists would never dream of giving up meat during Lent, we know that we are doing it for health reasons. And for the self-discipline, which I can always use more of. We do not eat fish "religously" on Fridays, but we do have it set aside as Fish Night, although we are more mindful of eating fish during Lent for the self-discipline. Fortunately, our children enjoy eating fish. If Friday Fish Night doesn't work for you, decide what does. A night out (if you can afford it)? Pizza and wings? Going to Grandma's? Choose something meaningful for you.
Wednesday night is Breakfast Night. Why? Becuase I LOVE breakfast food! Breakfast food is cheap, easy and quick. It's probably not the healthiest night of the week, but we only eat it once a week. It is usually pancakes or French toast & scrambled eggs, or a ham & cheese omelet, bacon or breakfast sausage and fresh fruit or apple sauce. And because we eat that once a week for dinner, I rarely make it for breakfast. If you don't love breakfast for dinner as much as we do, then maybe New Recipe Night or International Night or Look What Grandma Made For Us works better for you.
During the winter months, our Saturday night dinner has become a simple but nutritious meal of homemade soup and freshly baked bread. Now before you start thinking that I live in a monastery with our Friday Fish Night and our Saturday Soup Suppers, let me explain. Every other Friday morning, a group of women from my church gather in the church's kitchen to make soup. (by the way, We range in age from about 40 to about 70 years of age, so we are not just a bunch of "little old church ladies"). We make the soup to sell to our parishioners and members of our community and the money helps us meet our annual Church World Service apportionments, which then helps others in need throughout the world. Any leftover soup goes onto the freezer and is available for future sale or can be given to anyone in need. We make a variety of soup, including chili for Super Bowl Sunday, and it is all so good!! When my husband and I re-examined our finances, we both agreed that we would continue supporting our church as much as we can. So when we eat our soup on Saturday nights, we know we are supporting our church and that we get to enjoy a meal that was cooked with much love. And that freshly baked bread? It's just frozen bread dough, thawed, and then baked before dinner. Easy peasy!
At our house, we have designated Sunday nights as our Big Family Dinner night. When I was growing up, right after church on Sunday was the time my mother often made a pot roast after church, and then whatever of my extended family members were around, we would sit down for a meal together around 2 PM. My poor mother, never got to rest, even on Sunday! My husband grew up with a similar tradition, and now that our kids are older and we have recouped some previously lost energy, this makes sense for us. My husband loves to cook roasts for Sunday dinner- pork tenderloin, roasted chicken, roast beef- and because they usually take more time, that night works best for us. Even if he is cooking something in the crock pot, he usually has to time to prepare it after church. On the occasions that we can't do a Sunday Dinner, he puts something in the crockpot before church and we have Sunday Lunch. As a kid, we always set our Sunday Dinner table with our Good Dishes and now we do the same, which for us is our seldom-used wedding china. Make it festive or fun!
The rest of the week is either a pasta night (spaghetti & meatballs, pasta al fredo, goulash, etc.), or chicken/pork with potato or rice as a side dish and a fresh or frozen vegetable. My kids have recently discovered that they love baked potatoes, so we have them once a month. Whenever we have mashed potatoes, my husband (the offical potato masher) always reserves a few boiled potatoes for our son,, who does not like mashed potatoes. Our philosphy on food is that mealtime should be enjoyed. And while we encourage our children to try new things, we do realize that they do not love all of the same things that we do. We will tweak a meal to accomodate someone with different tastes, such as serving our daughter stir fry that has not been mixed together (so she's a healthy eater who doesn't like her food mixed together- no big deal!), but we never cook a second meal for someone.
We also try to have the kids help us prepare dinner as much as possible. I wish I could say they helped us regularly and often. But the truth is, they don't. They are welcome to help whenever they want, but during the week they are usually busy finishing homework or reading. Often I start a meal and my husband finishes it, or we cook the meal together, and that gives us a chance to catch up on our day uninterrupted. The kids do help with the meal by setting and clearing the table each night, and as I tyoe this, I am vowing to try to get them to help us cook more on weekends.
When you first start out, if doing a full week seems overwhelming, just try planning for a few days. Maybe start with your weekend meals, if that's when you have more time. Last month, we aimed for planning one full week, from Satruday to Saturday. This month, after filling in the first week, we then plugged in other meals we knew we would be having, such as Wednesday Breakfast Night, Thursday Leftover Night, Friday Fish Night, and Saturday Soup Night. Then we plugged in what special meals we wanted for all of the Sunday Dinners. That left us with Monday and Tuesday nights to fill in with chicken, pork and International Meals (mostly Mexican and Italian dishes that my family enjoys). And then all of a sudden- the whole month was filled in. Which becomes One Less Thing To Think And Stress About.
All in all, because of our Menu Planning, along with our Weekly Shopping Trip, we eat well, we eat healthy, and we eat within our budget. Most importantly, we are blessed to have the time to eat most of our evening meals together as a family. We rarely have the TV on and almost always have music playing. And you know what? I really don't miss eating out.
I have to confess that yesterday my husband and I went out to lunch and had a nice meal, and because it's a rare treat now, we enjoyed it for what it was, but I honestly prefer eating at home. Maybe sometime we will try eating by candlelight, just for the fun of it. Maybe tonight we can get through the meal without reminding my daughter to use her fork instead of her fingers, without reminding my son to eat and not talk so much. And maybe my husband won't gulp his meal in two bites and I won't go for that second helping of mashed potatoes that I really don't need... maybe, but I doubt it. Yeah, I never said it was perfect, but for us, it is the perfect time of day for our family to connect.
Mom, I'm starving, how long until dinner is ready??
Oh darn, I forgot to defrost something for dinner. Again. Who wants take out??? (Again).
How many times have those things happened to you? A few times a month? A few times a week?? Daily???
As I sit here typing, it is 10:45 AM and I can tell you exactly what's for dinner at our house tonight. It's the same thing we have every Thursday night: leftovers. You may scoff: "leftovers? That's not dinner, that's cheating. That's not menu planning". Well, it is in our house. Through Menu Planning, we have discovered that not only do we waste less time and less money, we also waste less food. It wasn't always this way, but I can assure you, it is much less stressful.
I had heard of several of my friends doing this thing called Menu Planning. They would plan every meal that their family would eat- ahead of time! I was in awe. One friend had her family's meals planned for an entire month- and I think that included breakfast and lunch, too. But the thought of doing that totally overwhelmed me so I never pursued Menu Planning. My husband and I shared a lot of the cooking so I reasoned that it wasn't very stressful. Yes, some nights we didn't know what were having for dinner until he came home from work at 4:30, but we were getting by. The kids were eating well, no one was starving. We were ok. Right? Well, not really.
What was really happeneing, if I am totally honest about it, was that I was relying more and more on my husband to cook because cooking was totally stressing me out. Or I would decide what to eat for dinner just before the kids came home from school and I would need him to pick up some necessary items on his way home from work. Or we would get bored and try new recipes that no one really liked (sorry, honey!) And worst of all, we would find ourselves going out to eat. A lot. I'm sure we ate out at least once each week. And because it wasn't "fast food", we told ourselves it was fine.
Well, let me tell you, taking a family of four out to eat gets pretty expensive after a while. And even though we usually made "healthy choices" when we ate out, the portions were often very large and you really couldn't control how they were prepared, so those extra calories really added up, too! And actually, going out to eat get kind of boring after a while.
We soon realized one of the biggest issues we dealt with was Time Management. Last fall our actitivities were out of control. Family dinner was always very important for us, but some nights it was hard to figure out not only when anyone would be home to eat dinner, but when one of us would be home to make it. I am a stay at home mom, so you wouldn't think that would be a problem, but it was. But it seemed that the busier we were, the more we ate out, the more we were in debt and the more we were stressed.
At the beginning of this year, we made some serious changes to the way we live. Our family is in a bit of a financial crisis right now, which is a fancy way of saying we have some serious credit card debt to pay off. We knew right away that one of the first things that had to go, along with some other things, was eating out. Not only did we eliminate going out to eat, we also stopped buying our children school lunches. When we stopped doing those two things, we realized that if we wanted to save even more money and waste leass food, we knew we needed to limit our shopping to once a week (mostly to buy fresh produce and replenish depleted supplies) and twe knew it was time to try Menu Planning.
At our house, Menu Planning begins near the end of each week. Rather casually, my husband and I begin to think and talk about what we would like to eat for the following week. My husband enjoys cooking and we share much of the cooking each week, so it makes sense for us to share the Menu Planning together. (If you have a significant other that does not do any of the cooking, decide if it makes sense to include them in the menu planning. And I do encourage you to, even if it's to help choose one meal they enjoy each week). We also ask the kids if there's something they want to eat that week that maybe we haven't eaten in a while. After all, we are cooking for them, too.
Because we do the bulk of our shopping each Saturday morning, we try to choose what meals we plan to the eat the next week by Friday night, although often we are still fine-tuning the menu during breakfast on Saturday morning. That's just how we roll. After the menu for the week is finalized, we put together a grocery list to buy the foods we need to make those meals happen. (Saturday shopping works for us, but you can choose a different day of the week if that works better for you). Menu Planning is really that simple. The biggest obstacle can be choosing the meals that your family will eat.
We choose meals in a variety of ways. Our taste and our health come first. Luckily, our taste in food is pretty simple and memebers of our family life many (though not all!) of the same things. Simpler meals are often healthier, easier and faster to cook and can be very economical. We try to use fresh ingredients whenever we can by eating whatever produce is in season. We avoid processed foods as much as possible.
I am no dietician, but traditionally we eat a small-ish portion of protein at each meal, including chicken, pork, beef, fish or eggs. We supplement each meal with a starch or grain, and a fruit or vegetable. We usually have a pasta night that can be meatless or it can include a protein. We include a green salad with our meals as much as possible. This is probably pretty close to what many of you already do. If you or anyone in your family are a vegetarian, you can remove the proteins and substitute more grains, beans and fruits and vegetables).
Often, we choose meals based on items that we already have and then add items to our Weekly Grocery List that we need to complete that meal. Most of the meals we make are very simple and do not require a recipe, just our memory, so we just add items to our grocery list that we know we don't have on hand for those meals. Sometimes we come up with a meal we're dying to have and we find that we have none of the ingredients on hand. If this meal is from a recipe that we don't have memorized, we always consult the written recipe to be sure we have all of the necessary ingredients and the correct amounts. There's nothing like being in the middle of cooking a meal and discovering you are missing a key ingredient or do not have enough of a certain ingredient.
Because my husband and children take their lunch to work and school nearly everyday, we also take that into consideration when Menu Planning and creating our Weekly Grocery List. We think about what meals will yield leftovers for lunches and plan accordingly- we don't want to create too many leftovers, but we do want to make sure we create enough for lunches. Each of my children has a thermos that they can bring to school which enables them to have a variety of items for lunch, including soup and pasta dishes. My husband will eat almost anything we had had for dinnerand bring it to work for lunch. We also add items to our Weekly Grocery List that supplement their homemade lunches. And let me add that now that we don't eat out and now that the kids bring their lunches more often, our grocery bill has increased somewhat. However, we are buying only what we need each week, making plenty and nutritious meals out of that food and if we factor in what we were spending on school lunches and eating out, we are in actuality spending less money each month.
And because many of our meals yield plenty of leftovers, we have designated Thursday as Leftover Dinner Night. That way we can clean our fridge in time for our weekend shopping and leftover food doesn't sit in the fridge over the weekend, uneaten and destines for the garbage disposal. I actually get a lot of joy out of Leftover Night. First of all, I really enjoy the fact that little or none of our food is ever wasted. And as that food is eaten and enjoyed, it clears out room in the fridge for the next week's meals. Therefore, I know that I won't be trying to shove more food into an already full refrigerator after our weekly shopping trip. Also, Leftover Night is a little spiritual for me because it reminds me of what I love about communty- everything coming together to make something bigger and better than it was all by itself. It's taking a little bit of this and a little bit of that and making a meal. But most of all, I love that my family does not complain about lefotvers. I guess they must see it as a blessing, which it is. They choose from whatever is in there and, God Bless Them, they eat it!! Once in a while I have to make something for someone to supplement what there is to choose from, but it's never a big deal. Leftover Night may not be their first choice for a meal, but leftovers are a reality for us, our financial stability, our sanity, and my family appreciates that there is food on the table that they didn't have to make. I did want to add that a few things we intentionally make large quantities of for the purpose of freezing so we can enjoy that meal in the future with little or no work, such as matballs, spaghetti sauce, and chicken stock (made from our good old Sunday Dinner Roast Chicken).
We also look ahead to our Weekly Activities before planning our menu. If there is a night of the week that dictates that we serve an early meal, or a later meal, then we choose our meals accordingly. Sometimes we shift Leftover Night around, or we switch meals around within that week when something unexpected comes along. That's called Life. But most of the time, we do discipline ourselves to stay within the plan as much as possible. Leftover Night might would work better for you on a night when everyone nees to out the door early or on Friday Night or Sunday Night. Play around with it until you find what works best for you.
Years ago, when my husband and I regularly attended my Episcopal Church, we started eating fish on Friday nights. Now, I know, the practice of eating fish on Fridays is one that is mostly practiced by Roman Catholics. I believe that originated to help Catholics be more mindful of eating lighter during Lent. So that year, we adopted the same practice for the same healthy reason and it just sort of stuck. Now we are Methodists, and even though I know that that most good Methodists would never dream of giving up meat during Lent, we know that we are doing it for health reasons. And for the self-discipline, which I can always use more of. We do not eat fish "religously" on Fridays, but we do have it set aside as Fish Night, although we are more mindful of eating fish during Lent for the self-discipline. Fortunately, our children enjoy eating fish. If Friday Fish Night doesn't work for you, decide what does. A night out (if you can afford it)? Pizza and wings? Going to Grandma's? Choose something meaningful for you.
Wednesday night is Breakfast Night. Why? Becuase I LOVE breakfast food! Breakfast food is cheap, easy and quick. It's probably not the healthiest night of the week, but we only eat it once a week. It is usually pancakes or French toast & scrambled eggs, or a ham & cheese omelet, bacon or breakfast sausage and fresh fruit or apple sauce. And because we eat that once a week for dinner, I rarely make it for breakfast. If you don't love breakfast for dinner as much as we do, then maybe New Recipe Night or International Night or Look What Grandma Made For Us works better for you.
During the winter months, our Saturday night dinner has become a simple but nutritious meal of homemade soup and freshly baked bread. Now before you start thinking that I live in a monastery with our Friday Fish Night and our Saturday Soup Suppers, let me explain. Every other Friday morning, a group of women from my church gather in the church's kitchen to make soup. (by the way, We range in age from about 40 to about 70 years of age, so we are not just a bunch of "little old church ladies"). We make the soup to sell to our parishioners and members of our community and the money helps us meet our annual Church World Service apportionments, which then helps others in need throughout the world. Any leftover soup goes onto the freezer and is available for future sale or can be given to anyone in need. We make a variety of soup, including chili for Super Bowl Sunday, and it is all so good!! When my husband and I re-examined our finances, we both agreed that we would continue supporting our church as much as we can. So when we eat our soup on Saturday nights, we know we are supporting our church and that we get to enjoy a meal that was cooked with much love. And that freshly baked bread? It's just frozen bread dough, thawed, and then baked before dinner. Easy peasy!
At our house, we have designated Sunday nights as our Big Family Dinner night. When I was growing up, right after church on Sunday was the time my mother often made a pot roast after church, and then whatever of my extended family members were around, we would sit down for a meal together around 2 PM. My poor mother, never got to rest, even on Sunday! My husband grew up with a similar tradition, and now that our kids are older and we have recouped some previously lost energy, this makes sense for us. My husband loves to cook roasts for Sunday dinner- pork tenderloin, roasted chicken, roast beef- and because they usually take more time, that night works best for us. Even if he is cooking something in the crock pot, he usually has to time to prepare it after church. On the occasions that we can't do a Sunday Dinner, he puts something in the crockpot before church and we have Sunday Lunch. As a kid, we always set our Sunday Dinner table with our Good Dishes and now we do the same, which for us is our seldom-used wedding china. Make it festive or fun!
The rest of the week is either a pasta night (spaghetti & meatballs, pasta al fredo, goulash, etc.), or chicken/pork with potato or rice as a side dish and a fresh or frozen vegetable. My kids have recently discovered that they love baked potatoes, so we have them once a month. Whenever we have mashed potatoes, my husband (the offical potato masher) always reserves a few boiled potatoes for our son,, who does not like mashed potatoes. Our philosphy on food is that mealtime should be enjoyed. And while we encourage our children to try new things, we do realize that they do not love all of the same things that we do. We will tweak a meal to accomodate someone with different tastes, such as serving our daughter stir fry that has not been mixed together (so she's a healthy eater who doesn't like her food mixed together- no big deal!), but we never cook a second meal for someone.
We also try to have the kids help us prepare dinner as much as possible. I wish I could say they helped us regularly and often. But the truth is, they don't. They are welcome to help whenever they want, but during the week they are usually busy finishing homework or reading. Often I start a meal and my husband finishes it, or we cook the meal together, and that gives us a chance to catch up on our day uninterrupted. The kids do help with the meal by setting and clearing the table each night, and as I tyoe this, I am vowing to try to get them to help us cook more on weekends.
When you first start out, if doing a full week seems overwhelming, just try planning for a few days. Maybe start with your weekend meals, if that's when you have more time. Last month, we aimed for planning one full week, from Satruday to Saturday. This month, after filling in the first week, we then plugged in other meals we knew we would be having, such as Wednesday Breakfast Night, Thursday Leftover Night, Friday Fish Night, and Saturday Soup Night. Then we plugged in what special meals we wanted for all of the Sunday Dinners. That left us with Monday and Tuesday nights to fill in with chicken, pork and International Meals (mostly Mexican and Italian dishes that my family enjoys). And then all of a sudden- the whole month was filled in. Which becomes One Less Thing To Think And Stress About.
All in all, because of our Menu Planning, along with our Weekly Shopping Trip, we eat well, we eat healthy, and we eat within our budget. Most importantly, we are blessed to have the time to eat most of our evening meals together as a family. We rarely have the TV on and almost always have music playing. And you know what? I really don't miss eating out.
I have to confess that yesterday my husband and I went out to lunch and had a nice meal, and because it's a rare treat now, we enjoyed it for what it was, but I honestly prefer eating at home. Maybe sometime we will try eating by candlelight, just for the fun of it. Maybe tonight we can get through the meal without reminding my daughter to use her fork instead of her fingers, without reminding my son to eat and not talk so much. And maybe my husband won't gulp his meal in two bites and I won't go for that second helping of mashed potatoes that I really don't need... maybe, but I doubt it. Yeah, I never said it was perfect, but for us, it is the perfect time of day for our family to connect.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
The Tortoise and the Spelling Bee
It amazes me sometimes how different things are connected. For example, what is the connection between a Spelling Bee, de-cluttering and being a tortoise? I'm not sure I could have told you the answer until this morning.
You see, my son is going to be in our school's district Spelling Bee next week. He particpated in his elementary school's Spelling Bee last month, which consisted of fourth and fifth graders, and by finsihing in the Top 10, he is able to move on to the next Bee, where he will compete with fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh and eighth graders.
Naturally, we were incredibly proud of him and his efforts for being in a Spelling Bee. But we knew that with Being in a Spelling Bee comes Great Responsibility. Our daughter was in the Spelling Bee a few years ago, and we hadn't forgotten how much time was involved in preparing for the Bee. We didn't want to discourage him, but we did tell that it was going to be hard work, so he needed to think long and hard before signing up to take the spelling test that is a precursor for being in the bee (the Top 20 from this test are chosen for the bee).
You see, in our house, if you commit to something, it is a 100% commitment, or as close to 100% commitment as you can possibly give. If you can only give, say 50% or even 75%, we don't participate, and that goes for the adults, too. And no, we don't expect them to win or be the best or anything like that- just to be fully committed and do their best.
Well, Jonah insisted that this was what he REALLY wanted to do, so he took the test in December, and placed in the Top 20. A list of spelling words were sent home over Christmas vacation for him to study and learn to spell. Can you guess how much time we spent practicing those spelling words? Not much. When he returned to school after Christmas break, we only had two weeks to prepare! We weren't sure if this was enough time, but we tried to make the most if it.
We concentrated on the easier words first. We got him into the habit of repeating the word back to us, just as they want you to do in the Bee, so the judges know you heard the word correctly. We focused on him being confident and on spelling each word slowly and clearly. We did this little by little, nearly everyday, for two weeks. We moved into harder words and he learned how to spell many of them, but we never got to the hardest words. We reasoned that because this was the fourth and fifth grade Bee, they probably wouldn't get to the hardest words anyway, and for the most part, that proved to be true. He had the misfortune of being the first speller of the Bee, and the first speller of each round, but his confidence shined! He came in fifth place and was the last fourth grader left. The words he missed was "ecstatic"- a word we hadn't even spent a lot of time on. His first spelling Bee was s success!
Well, that Spelling Bee was a month ago. Can you guess how much Jonah has practiced his spelling words for the next Bee? Well, not much. And it shows. We gave him the week after the Bee off as a "break", and then we found it hard to get back into the habit of practicing the spelling words on a regular basis. We have asked him his spelling words periodically and we discovered that words that he previously knew how to spell, were becoming difficult again. And he was losing some of his confidence. And he was waiting for us to do something about it.
Now, I know- he's only ten years old. The fact that he wants to even be in the Spelling Bee and stand in front of a group of people is to be highly commended. And it is, and we have told him that. But I had really hoped that Jonah would start remembering to find the time to practice on his own. Well, so far, he hadn't. It was a certain series of books with a certain characted named Harry Potter that he felt needed re-reading right now. Yes, he loves to read and that is also very very commendable, but not the most effective way to prepare for a Spelling Bee.
Last week I realized time was ticking away and I was really getting concerned about Jonah's lack of preparation for the next Spelling Bee (which, as I type, is now only six days away). Didn't he remember how we had to learn so many words in just two weeks, and now we had even less time? So, over this past weekend, I had a little heart-to-heart with him and suggested that Harry Potter be put aside until after the Bee was over. He could still read them for his 30 minutes of required reading for school each day, but that was it. Harry Potter would be there after the Spelling Bee was over, but preparing for the Spelling Bee was only going to be around for a short time. The Bee needed to be his priority right now. He had come too far to let it slide now. Thankfully, he agreed.
(Side note: when your kids are readers, like both of mine are, reminding your kids to put their books away every now and then to do something else that needs to be done becomes a way of life. It may seem weird to you,, but it is a common occurence at our house, and at times, something as good as reading becomes a distraction, just as anything else can. Just because reading is a good choice, doesn't mean it's always the most appropriate choice. Something to keep in mind... ).
I am happy to say that preparations have begun again, with the stipulation that he makes sure that he puts as much effort into preparing for this Bee as he had for the last. That he promise to work at it little by little, with our help, everyday. And like a dutiful mother, LOL, I have reminded him that this was his choice, to be in the Spelling Bee and that he needs to honor the commitment he made to this Bee when he first took that spelling test last December. I also reminded him that he isn't in the Bee to win, that we do want him to have fun with it, but we do want him to give his best effort. To my delight, he actually commented this morning that preparing for the Bee again has reminded him of why he wanted to do it in the first place, that he actually doesn't mind working hard at something a little bit everyday, and how good it feels to get better at something. (He is such an amazing boy sometimes... )
This is where the tortoise and de-cluttering come in. At my church, I am helping lead a Bible Study on "De-Cluttering Our Lives". We are talking about all kinds of clutter (household & paper clutter mostly, but also financial, emotional, mental, "body clutter", etc.) We have been meeting since the beginning of the year, with varying degrees of progress. Getting people to find the time in their busy lives to de-clutter has proven to be more difficult than I had anticipated. This group is made up of very generous, loving, giving, smart women who would do just about anything for someone else. Finding the time to do something for themselves and their home was proving to be quite a challenge for them, and was probably the source of their clutter problem.
There was a small group of us that met this week, and I think one of my friends made a very important break-through! She made the statement that, although she was committed to de-cluttering, she didn't always have the time for it. And when she did find the time, she was very slow at it, and methodical. She felt she was making progress, but it was so slow! She felt very much like the tortoise. And as our Pastor, who is also part of this group, gently reminded her, "Well, we all know who won that race!". Bingo. Suddenly it seemed much clearer to all of us. Slow and steady. Little by little. Everyday. Hmmm... what a concept!
Now, I am already a huge fan of de-cluttering a little bit everyday, and for me, it's more about maintaining my now more manageable amount of clutter each and every day, or as often as possible. When you reach a certain maintenance level, you have the confidence to know that even if you don't get to something right away, even three to four times a week makes a huge difference. You get a little behind, but you can catch up very quickly. Daily maintenance is better, but since we are not perfect, we do the best we can. It's kind of like when you have lost a lot of weight and you indulge one day and then have the self-discipline to get right back into your better eating habits the next day. Or, as my son Jonah has begun to learn, once he became confident with what he needed to do to prepare for the Spelling Bee and developed the self-discipline of practicing his words daily, even when he he missed a chunk of time, he was able to get ride back into the habit of studying them everyday.
When it comes to de-cluttering, I have developed a certain amout of self-discipline. It is a habit for me now. (Believe me- I wasn't born with it!) Often there are obstacles in my way, obstacles I like to refer to as distractions. If I were writing this blog several years ago, it would have been a distraction from the de-cluttering I needed to do. If I don't continue to walk everyday this winter, this blog might be seen as a distraction for me, so I make every effort to continue my walking so I can continue my blog. I'm now working on becoming more balanced so I can make room for the things that are important to me. We all have obstacles, and distractions, and other things we need to or want to do- that is just part of life. The trick is how we deal with them.
For many, I do think that there are many obstacles in their way when it comes to de-cluttering- it isn't just about the stuff. Just like it wasn't all about the race for the totoise or the hare. It's about choices. It's about time management- and learning to start out slow and steady. It's about making certain tasks a priority. It's about distractions- and learning how to deal with them. Temporarily removing a beloved distraction made it much easier for Jonah to make the Spelling Bee a priority for him right now. Balancing my time between blogging, walking, decreasing our debt and de-cluttering are my focus right now.
It's about, dare I say it, doing something for yourself and then doing what it takes to get it done so you can then move on to do other things. and developing the confidence and self-disipline with which to do it. There, I said it!
Believe me, there are plenty of days when I would rather do other things first. Maybe Harry Potter isn't calling me the way he calls Jonah, but other things do call me. Other things call us everyday. Everyday is full of choices and distractions. What is calling you? Some choices are emergencies, and that can't be helped, but many are not, and those choices become our distractions. Even many of the good things we do. Jonah reading a book when he needed to focus on something else was, for him, a distraction. I could list numerous things that could distract me and I fight them each and every day. You are not alone.
Most of us, especially women, were taught to do for others and not for ourselves, and that doing for ourselves is selfish. I encourage you to try to look at that another way. How many times have you done something for someone else, only to find that it left you with little or no time or energy to do something for yourself? It made you feel good at the time, and no doubt the receiver of your good deed appreciated it, but you still got nothing done for yourself. Practice the art of saying no. Say it to people you feel safe with first, then build more confidence. Like anything else, it gets easier with practice. It might feel good to feel needed by others, but right now, you need yourself!
And maybe others offered to help you in return, but I'm guesing you proudly turned that help away. "I can do it myself," you said. We don't even turn to God for help. Well, how is that working for you so far?
Make this day the day that you do what needs to be done- for you. Take that first step today. Then take that next step tomorrow. And the next day and the next day. It takes commitment and confidence and self-discipline to see beyond the distractions, even the well-meaning ones. Start by doing the things that make you confident. Do only the things you want to commit to- let go of the things you cannot or do not want to commit to right now. I assure you, it's ok. That will help you manage your time better. If you don't have self-discipline, and many of us don't, pray for some. I pray for it everyday as I make life changes. And it's working. Asking for God's help, and the help of others, is not a sign of weakness- it is a sign of strength. My friends, you are strong- and even stronger than you believe.
Today, and everyday, I pray all my friends in my de-cluttering group. And for anyone else reading this. I pray that you become more like the tortoise as he ran his race. And like Jonah, as he prepares for his Spelling Bee. Both started out slowly and continued steadily, and never gave up. I encourage you to find the confidence to develop the focus and self-discipline you need to prepare for whatever challenges you are facing. And to pray for God to walk beside you so that you are never alone as we run this race together called Life.
You see, my son is going to be in our school's district Spelling Bee next week. He particpated in his elementary school's Spelling Bee last month, which consisted of fourth and fifth graders, and by finsihing in the Top 10, he is able to move on to the next Bee, where he will compete with fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh and eighth graders.
Naturally, we were incredibly proud of him and his efforts for being in a Spelling Bee. But we knew that with Being in a Spelling Bee comes Great Responsibility. Our daughter was in the Spelling Bee a few years ago, and we hadn't forgotten how much time was involved in preparing for the Bee. We didn't want to discourage him, but we did tell that it was going to be hard work, so he needed to think long and hard before signing up to take the spelling test that is a precursor for being in the bee (the Top 20 from this test are chosen for the bee).
You see, in our house, if you commit to something, it is a 100% commitment, or as close to 100% commitment as you can possibly give. If you can only give, say 50% or even 75%, we don't participate, and that goes for the adults, too. And no, we don't expect them to win or be the best or anything like that- just to be fully committed and do their best.
Well, Jonah insisted that this was what he REALLY wanted to do, so he took the test in December, and placed in the Top 20. A list of spelling words were sent home over Christmas vacation for him to study and learn to spell. Can you guess how much time we spent practicing those spelling words? Not much. When he returned to school after Christmas break, we only had two weeks to prepare! We weren't sure if this was enough time, but we tried to make the most if it.
We concentrated on the easier words first. We got him into the habit of repeating the word back to us, just as they want you to do in the Bee, so the judges know you heard the word correctly. We focused on him being confident and on spelling each word slowly and clearly. We did this little by little, nearly everyday, for two weeks. We moved into harder words and he learned how to spell many of them, but we never got to the hardest words. We reasoned that because this was the fourth and fifth grade Bee, they probably wouldn't get to the hardest words anyway, and for the most part, that proved to be true. He had the misfortune of being the first speller of the Bee, and the first speller of each round, but his confidence shined! He came in fifth place and was the last fourth grader left. The words he missed was "ecstatic"- a word we hadn't even spent a lot of time on. His first spelling Bee was s success!
Well, that Spelling Bee was a month ago. Can you guess how much Jonah has practiced his spelling words for the next Bee? Well, not much. And it shows. We gave him the week after the Bee off as a "break", and then we found it hard to get back into the habit of practicing the spelling words on a regular basis. We have asked him his spelling words periodically and we discovered that words that he previously knew how to spell, were becoming difficult again. And he was losing some of his confidence. And he was waiting for us to do something about it.
Now, I know- he's only ten years old. The fact that he wants to even be in the Spelling Bee and stand in front of a group of people is to be highly commended. And it is, and we have told him that. But I had really hoped that Jonah would start remembering to find the time to practice on his own. Well, so far, he hadn't. It was a certain series of books with a certain characted named Harry Potter that he felt needed re-reading right now. Yes, he loves to read and that is also very very commendable, but not the most effective way to prepare for a Spelling Bee.
Last week I realized time was ticking away and I was really getting concerned about Jonah's lack of preparation for the next Spelling Bee (which, as I type, is now only six days away). Didn't he remember how we had to learn so many words in just two weeks, and now we had even less time? So, over this past weekend, I had a little heart-to-heart with him and suggested that Harry Potter be put aside until after the Bee was over. He could still read them for his 30 minutes of required reading for school each day, but that was it. Harry Potter would be there after the Spelling Bee was over, but preparing for the Spelling Bee was only going to be around for a short time. The Bee needed to be his priority right now. He had come too far to let it slide now. Thankfully, he agreed.
(Side note: when your kids are readers, like both of mine are, reminding your kids to put their books away every now and then to do something else that needs to be done becomes a way of life. It may seem weird to you,, but it is a common occurence at our house, and at times, something as good as reading becomes a distraction, just as anything else can. Just because reading is a good choice, doesn't mean it's always the most appropriate choice. Something to keep in mind... ).
I am happy to say that preparations have begun again, with the stipulation that he makes sure that he puts as much effort into preparing for this Bee as he had for the last. That he promise to work at it little by little, with our help, everyday. And like a dutiful mother, LOL, I have reminded him that this was his choice, to be in the Spelling Bee and that he needs to honor the commitment he made to this Bee when he first took that spelling test last December. I also reminded him that he isn't in the Bee to win, that we do want him to have fun with it, but we do want him to give his best effort. To my delight, he actually commented this morning that preparing for the Bee again has reminded him of why he wanted to do it in the first place, that he actually doesn't mind working hard at something a little bit everyday, and how good it feels to get better at something. (He is such an amazing boy sometimes... )
This is where the tortoise and de-cluttering come in. At my church, I am helping lead a Bible Study on "De-Cluttering Our Lives". We are talking about all kinds of clutter (household & paper clutter mostly, but also financial, emotional, mental, "body clutter", etc.) We have been meeting since the beginning of the year, with varying degrees of progress. Getting people to find the time in their busy lives to de-clutter has proven to be more difficult than I had anticipated. This group is made up of very generous, loving, giving, smart women who would do just about anything for someone else. Finding the time to do something for themselves and their home was proving to be quite a challenge for them, and was probably the source of their clutter problem.
There was a small group of us that met this week, and I think one of my friends made a very important break-through! She made the statement that, although she was committed to de-cluttering, she didn't always have the time for it. And when she did find the time, she was very slow at it, and methodical. She felt she was making progress, but it was so slow! She felt very much like the tortoise. And as our Pastor, who is also part of this group, gently reminded her, "Well, we all know who won that race!". Bingo. Suddenly it seemed much clearer to all of us. Slow and steady. Little by little. Everyday. Hmmm... what a concept!
Now, I am already a huge fan of de-cluttering a little bit everyday, and for me, it's more about maintaining my now more manageable amount of clutter each and every day, or as often as possible. When you reach a certain maintenance level, you have the confidence to know that even if you don't get to something right away, even three to four times a week makes a huge difference. You get a little behind, but you can catch up very quickly. Daily maintenance is better, but since we are not perfect, we do the best we can. It's kind of like when you have lost a lot of weight and you indulge one day and then have the self-discipline to get right back into your better eating habits the next day. Or, as my son Jonah has begun to learn, once he became confident with what he needed to do to prepare for the Spelling Bee and developed the self-discipline of practicing his words daily, even when he he missed a chunk of time, he was able to get ride back into the habit of studying them everyday.
When it comes to de-cluttering, I have developed a certain amout of self-discipline. It is a habit for me now. (Believe me- I wasn't born with it!) Often there are obstacles in my way, obstacles I like to refer to as distractions. If I were writing this blog several years ago, it would have been a distraction from the de-cluttering I needed to do. If I don't continue to walk everyday this winter, this blog might be seen as a distraction for me, so I make every effort to continue my walking so I can continue my blog. I'm now working on becoming more balanced so I can make room for the things that are important to me. We all have obstacles, and distractions, and other things we need to or want to do- that is just part of life. The trick is how we deal with them.
For many, I do think that there are many obstacles in their way when it comes to de-cluttering- it isn't just about the stuff. Just like it wasn't all about the race for the totoise or the hare. It's about choices. It's about time management- and learning to start out slow and steady. It's about making certain tasks a priority. It's about distractions- and learning how to deal with them. Temporarily removing a beloved distraction made it much easier for Jonah to make the Spelling Bee a priority for him right now. Balancing my time between blogging, walking, decreasing our debt and de-cluttering are my focus right now.
It's about, dare I say it, doing something for yourself and then doing what it takes to get it done so you can then move on to do other things. and developing the confidence and self-disipline with which to do it. There, I said it!
Believe me, there are plenty of days when I would rather do other things first. Maybe Harry Potter isn't calling me the way he calls Jonah, but other things do call me. Other things call us everyday. Everyday is full of choices and distractions. What is calling you? Some choices are emergencies, and that can't be helped, but many are not, and those choices become our distractions. Even many of the good things we do. Jonah reading a book when he needed to focus on something else was, for him, a distraction. I could list numerous things that could distract me and I fight them each and every day. You are not alone.
Most of us, especially women, were taught to do for others and not for ourselves, and that doing for ourselves is selfish. I encourage you to try to look at that another way. How many times have you done something for someone else, only to find that it left you with little or no time or energy to do something for yourself? It made you feel good at the time, and no doubt the receiver of your good deed appreciated it, but you still got nothing done for yourself. Practice the art of saying no. Say it to people you feel safe with first, then build more confidence. Like anything else, it gets easier with practice. It might feel good to feel needed by others, but right now, you need yourself!
And maybe others offered to help you in return, but I'm guesing you proudly turned that help away. "I can do it myself," you said. We don't even turn to God for help. Well, how is that working for you so far?
Make this day the day that you do what needs to be done- for you. Take that first step today. Then take that next step tomorrow. And the next day and the next day. It takes commitment and confidence and self-discipline to see beyond the distractions, even the well-meaning ones. Start by doing the things that make you confident. Do only the things you want to commit to- let go of the things you cannot or do not want to commit to right now. I assure you, it's ok. That will help you manage your time better. If you don't have self-discipline, and many of us don't, pray for some. I pray for it everyday as I make life changes. And it's working. Asking for God's help, and the help of others, is not a sign of weakness- it is a sign of strength. My friends, you are strong- and even stronger than you believe.
Today, and everyday, I pray all my friends in my de-cluttering group. And for anyone else reading this. I pray that you become more like the tortoise as he ran his race. And like Jonah, as he prepares for his Spelling Bee. Both started out slowly and continued steadily, and never gave up. I encourage you to find the confidence to develop the focus and self-discipline you need to prepare for whatever challenges you are facing. And to pray for God to walk beside you so that you are never alone as we run this race together called Life.
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